Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

“Sorry to interrupt your work, Lord Magician,” he said, nervously looking about the room, “but I find it necessary to speak to you on … a personal matter.”

“Certainly, General,” I said, trying to put him at his ease. Strangely, I found that his obvious discomfort was making me uneasy. “Have a seat.”

“Thank you, I’d rather stand.”

So much for putting him at ease.

“As you wish,” I nodded. “What is it you wanted to see me about?”

I realized with some chagrin that I was falling into a formal speech pattern, but found that I couldn’t help it. Badaxe seemed bound and determined to be somber, and I felt obligated to respond in kind.

“Well … I’d like to speak to you about your apprentice.”

“Aahz?” I said. As far as the kingdom was concerned, Aahz was my loyal student.

“What’s he done now?”

“No . . . not Aahz.” the General clarified hastily. “I was referring to Massha.”

“Massha?” I blinked. This was truly a surprise. As far as I knew, Massha and the General had always gotten along fine. “Very well. What’s the problem?

“Oh, don’t misunderstand me, Lord Magician.

There’s no problem. Quite the contrary. I wanted to speak to you taking her hand in marriage.”

On a day of surprises, this announcement caught me the most off guard.

“Why?” I sputtered, unable to think of anything else to say.

The General’s brow darkened noticeably.

“If you’re referring to her less than slender appearance, or perhaps the difference in our age . . .”he began in a deep growl.

“No, you misunderstand me,” I said hastily, cutting him off … though once he mentioned them, both points were worth reflecting on. “I meant, why should you want to speak to me about such a matter?”

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