Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

“Umm . . . that’s all right, Cassandra,” I assured her, but now my attention was elsewhere.

Over her shoulder . . . heck, from all around us … I could see people starting to make their way towards our table. Now, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve been chased by mobs before, but never starting surrounded! Still, they didn’t look particularly hostile or angry. If anything, they all seemed to have exaggerated smiles on their faces . . . which considering the array of teeth in the room, wasn’t all that pleasant to behold.

“Excuse me, Cassandra,” I said, eyeing the incoming people, “but I drink … I mean, I think we’re about to have company.”

The slip of the tongue was because I had just tried to take another sip of my drink, only to find the glass was empty except for the ice cubes . . . strange, because I didn’t remember finishing it. Then the first person reached the table.

It was a male vampire, all decked out in a fine set of evening clothes which he wore with enviable grace.

“Excuse me for interrupting, Mr. Skeeve,” he said with a smile, “but I wanted to shake your hand. Always wanted to meet you, but never thought I’d get the opportunity.”

“Uh, sure,” I said, but he had already seized my hand and was pumping away.

“I was wondering . . . could I have your autograph?” a young lady said, trying to edge around the first gentleman.

“What? I suppose so …”

Unfortunately I couldn’t seem to get my hand loose from the vampire who was still shaking it, though he seemed to be looking elsewhere at the moment.

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