Sweet MYTH-tery of Life by Robert Asprin

“How’s that?”

“When I said you probably left a bad impression on your date … I think I should have kept my mouth shut.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I take it you haven’t seen this.”

She gestured at the wall over the washstand. I squinted slightly and focused my still-bleary eyes on the spot she was indicating.

Written on the wall, in bright red lipstick, was a note.

Skeeve,

Sorry to go, but I didn’t want to wake you. Last night was magic. You’re as good as your rep. Let me know when you want to play some more.

Cassandra

I found myself smirking as I read the note.

“Well, I guess she wasn’t too upset with my drinking. Eh, Bunny?”

There was no answer.

“Bunny?”

I tore my eyes away from the message and glanced around the room. The tray was still there, but Bunny wasn’t. With the door standing open, the only logical conclusion was that she had left without saying a word.

Suddenly, I didn’t feel so smug anymore.

Chapter Eleven:

“If labor and management communicated better, there would be fewer terminations.”

-J. HOFFA

“Hi, BUTTERCUP, How’s it going, fellah?”

The war unicorn raised his head and stared at me for a moment, then went back to eating from his feed bin.

“Com’on, fellah. You know me,” I urged.

The unicorn continued eating, ignoring me completely.

“Don’t worry, Boss.” came a squeaky voice from behind me. “Unicorns are like that.”

I didn’t have to look to see who the voice belonged to, but turned to face my bodyguard anyway.

“Hi, Nunzio,” I said. “What was that about unicorns?”

“They’re temperamental,” he explained with a shrug. “War unicorns like Buttercup are no exception. He’s just giving you a rough time because you haven’t been visiting him much.”

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