“I understand,” Tenar said. “Then-maybe this is a question you don’t want to answer-then when you look at a person with your third eye, with your power, you see their power-or don’t see it?”
“It’s more a knowing,” Moss said. “Seeing is just a way of saying it. ‘Tisn’t like I see you, I see this rush, I see the mountain there. It’s a knowing. I know what’s in you and not in that poor hollow-headed Heather, I know what’s in the dear child and not in him in yonder. I know-” She could not get any farther with it. She mumbled and spat. “Any witch worth a hairpin knows another witch!” she said finally, plainly, impatiently.
“You recognize each other.”
Moss nodded. “Aye, that’s it. That’s the word. Recognize.”
“And a wizard would recognize your power, would know you for a sorceress-”
But Moss was grinning at her, a black cave of a grin in a cobweb of wrinkles. “Dearie,” she said, “a man, you mean, a wizardly man? What’s a man of power to do with us?”
“But Ogion-”
“Lord Ogion was kind,” Moss said, without irony.
They split rushes for a while in silence.
“Don’t cut your thumb on ‘em, dearie,” Moss said.
“Ogion taught me. As if I weren’t a girl. As if I’d been his prentice, like Sparrowhawk. He taught me the Language of the Making, Moss. What I asked him, he told me.”
“There wasn’t no other like him.”
“It was I who wouldn’t be taught. I left him. What did I I want with his books? What good were they to me? I wanted to live, I wanted a man, I wanted my children, I wanted my life.”
She split reeds neatly, quickly, with her nail.
“And I got it,” she said.
“Take with the right hand, throw away with the left,” the witch said. “Well, dearie mistress, who’s to say? Who’s to say? Wanting a man got me into awful troubles more than once. But wanting to get married, never! No, no. None of that for me.
“Why not?” Tenar demanded.
Taken aback, Moss said simply, “Why, what man’d marry a witch?” And then, with a sidelong chewing motion of her jaw, like a sheep shifting its cud, “And what witch’d marry a man?”
They split rushes.
“What’s wrong with men?” Tenar inquired cautiously.
As cautiously, lowering her voice, Moss replied, “I don’t know, my dearie. I’ve thought on it. Often I’ve thought on it. The best I can say it is like this. A man’s in his skin, see, like a nut in its shell.” She held up her long, bent, wet fingers as if holding a walnut. “It’s hard and strong, that shell, and it’s all full of him. Full of grand man-meat, manself. And that’s all. That’s all there is. It’s all him and nothing else, inside.”
Tenar pondered awhile and finally asked, “But if he’s a wizard-”
“Then it’s all his power, inside. His power’s himself, see. That’s how it is with him. And that’s all. When his power goes, he’s gone. Empty.” She cracked the unseen walnut and tossed the shells away. “Nothing.”
“And a woman, then?”
“Oh, well, dearie, a woman’s a different thing entirely. Who knows where a woman begins and ends? Listen, mistress, I have roots, I have roots deeper than this island. Deeper than the sea, older than the raising of the lands. I go back into the dark.” Moss’s eyes shone with a weird brightness in their red rims and her voice sang like an instrument. “I go back into the dark! Before the moon I was. No one knows, no one knows, no one can say what I am, what a woman is, a woman of power, a woman’s power, deeper than the roots of trees, deeper than the roots of islands, older than the Making, older than the moon. Who dares ask questions of the dark? Who’ll ask the dark its name?”
The old woman was rocking, chanting, lost in her incantation; but Tenar sat upright, and split a reed down the center with her thumbnail.
“I will,” she said. She split another reed.
“I lived long enough in the dark,” she said.