The American Claimant by Mark Twain

confidence and decision. His horny hands and wrists were covered with

tattoo-marks, and when his lips parted, his teeth showed up white and

blemishless. His voice was the effortless deep bass of a church organ,

and would disturb the tranquility of a gas flame fifty yards away.

“They’re wonderful pictures,” said Barrow. “We’ve been examining them.”

“It is very bleasant dot you like dem,” said Handel, the German, greatly

pleased. “Und you, Herr Tracy, you haf peen bleased mit dem too,

alretty?”

“I can honestly say I have never seen anything just like them before.”

“Schon!” cried the German, delighted. “You hear, Gaptain? Here is a

chentleman, yes, vot abbreviate unser aart.”

The captain was charmed, and said:

“Well, sir, we’re thankful for a compliment yet, though they’re not as

scarce now as they used to be before we made a reputation.”

“Getting the reputation is the up-hill time in most things, captain.”

“It’s so. It ain’t enough to know how to reef a gasket, you got to make

the mate know you know it. That’s reputation. The good word, said at

the right time, that’s the word that makes us; and evil be to him that

evil thinks, as Isaiah says.”

“It’s very relevant, and hits the point exactly,” said Tracy.

“Where did you study art, Captain?”

“I haven’t studied; it’s a natural gift.”

“He is born mit dose cannon in him. He tondt haf to do noding, his

chenius do all de vork. Of he is asleep, and take a pencil in his hand,

out come a cannon. Py crashus, of he could do a clavier, of he could do

a guitar, of he could do a vashtub, it is a fortune, heiliger Yohanniss

it is yoost a fortune!”

“Well, it is an immense pity that the business is hindered and limited in

this unfortunate way.”

The captain grew a trifle excited, himself, now:

“You’ve said it, Mr. Tracy!–Hindered? well, I should say so. Why, look

here. This fellow here, No. 11, he’s a hackman,–a flourishing hackman,

I may say. He wants his hack in this picture. Wants it where the cannon

is. I got around that difficulty, by telling him the cannon’s our

trademark, so to speak-proves that the picture’s our work, and I was

afraid if we left it out people wouldn’t know for certain if it was a

Saltmarsh–Handel–now you wouldn’t yourself–”

“What, Captain? You wrong yourself, indeed you do. Anyone who has once

seen a genuine Saltmarsh-Handel is safe from imposture forever. Strip

it, flay it, skin it out of every detail but the bare color and

expression, and that man will still recognize it–still stop to

worship–”

“Oh, how it makes me feel to hear dose oxpressions!–”

–“still say to himself again as he had, said a hundred times before, the

art of the Saltmarsh-Handel is an art apart, there is nothing in the

heavens above or in the earth beneath that resembles it,–”

“Py chiminy, nur horen Sie einmal! In my life day haf I never heard so

brecious worts.”

“So I talked him out of the hack, Mr. Tracy, and he let up on that, and

said put in a hearse, then–because he’s chief mate of a hearse but don’t

own it–stands a watch for wages, you know. But I can’t do a hearse any

more than I can a hack; so here we are–becalmed, you see. And it’s the

same with women and such. They come and they want a little johnry

picture–”

“It’s the accessories that make it a ‘genre?'”

“Yes–cannon, or cat, or any little thing like that, that you heave into

whoop up the effect. We could do a prodigious trade with the women if we

could foreground the things they like, but they don’t give a damn for

artillery. Mine’s the lack,” continued the captain with a sigh, “Andy’s

end of the business is all right I tell you he’s an artist from way

back!”

“Yoost hear dot old man! He always talk ‘poud me like dot,” purred the

pleased German.

“Look at his work yourself! Fourteen portraits in a row. And no two of

them alike.”

“Now that you speak of it, it is true; I hadn’t noticed it before. It is

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