find the brush, and then she was sent for, and she couldn’t find it
herself for some little time; but then she found it when the others had
gone away to hunt in the kitchen and down cellar and in the woodshed,
and all those other places where people look for things whose ways they
are not familiar with. So she gave him the brush, and remarked that she
ought to have seen that everything was ready for him, but it hadn’t
seemed necessary, because it was so early that she wasn’t expecting–but
she stopped there, surprised at herself for what she was saying; and he
felt caught and ashamed, and said to himself, “I knew my impatience would
drag me here before I was expected, and betray me, and that is just what
it has done; she sees straight through me–and is laughing at me, inside,
of course.”
Gwendolen was very much pleased, on one account, and a little the other
way in another; pleased with the new clothes and the improvement which
they had achieved; less pleased by the pink in the buttonhole.
Yesterday’s pink had hardly interested her; this one was just like it,
but somehow it had got her immediate attention, and kept it. She wished
she could think of some way of getting at its history in a properly
colorless and indifferent way. Presently she made a venture. She said:
“Whatever a man’s age may be, he can reduce it several years by putting a
bright-colored flower in his button-hole. I have often noticed that.
Is that your sex’s reason for wearing a boutonniere?”
“I fancy not, but certainly that reason would be a sufficient one. I’ve
never heard of the idea before.”
“You seem to prefer pinks. Is it on account of the color, or the form?”
“Oh no,” he said, simply, “they are given to me. I don’t think I have
any preference.”
“They are given to him,” she said to herself, and she felt a coldness
toward that pink. “I wonder who it is, and what she is like.” The
flower began to take up a good deal of room; it obtruded itself
everywhere, it intercepted all views, and marred them; it was becoming
exceedingly annoying and conspicuous for a little thing. “I wonder if he
cares for her.” That thought gave her a quite definite pain.
CHAPTER XXI.
She had made everything comfortable for the artist; there was no further
pretext for staying. So she said she would go, now, and asked him to
summon the servants in case he should need anything. She went away
unhappy; and she left unhappiness behind her; for she carried away all
the sunshine. The time dragged heavily for both, now. He couldn’t paint
for thinking of her; she couldn’t design or millinerize with any heart,
for thinking of him. Never before had painting seemed so empty to him,
never before had millinerizing seemed so void of interest to her. She
had gone without repeating that dinner-invitation–an almost unendurable
disappointment to him. On her part-well, she was suffering, too; for she
had found she couldn’t invite him. It was not hard yesterday, but it was
impossible to-day. A thousand innocent privileges seemed to have been
filched from her unawares in the past twenty-four hours. To-day she felt
strangely hampered, restrained of her liberty. To-day she couldn’t
propose to herself to do anything or say anything concerning this young
man without being instantly paralyzed into non-action by the fear that he
might “suspect.” Invite him to dinner to-day? It made her shiver to
think of it.
And so her afternoon was one long fret. Broken at intervals. Three
times she had to go down stairs on errands–that is, she thought she had
to go down stairs on errands. Thus, going and coming, she had six
glimpses of him, in the aggregate, without seeming to look in his
direction; and she tried to endure these electric ecstasies without
showing any sign, but they fluttered her up a good deal, and she felt
that the naturalness she was putting on was overdone and quite too
frantically sober and hysterically calm to deceive.
The painter had his share of the rapture; he had his six glimpses, and