The Countess by Catherine Coulter

to something more benign. Actually, many of the gentlemen are already up, and if

they’re not yet talking, they are drinking coffee and reading the newspapers. Ah,

there was a bit of conversation about you, since Uncle Lawrence wasn’t present.

You have caused quite a stir, Andy. I can’t imagine that my uncle will be very

pleased.”

“For your information, I already apologized to him. I am not a complete dunce. I

apologized immediately. Surely that would make him realize that I was very

serious and contrite.”

“No, I’m not talking about your brazen little performance at the dining room

door with all the ladies flocked around you. No, it was the other.”

He had my attention now. “What other? I didn’t say anything else, I swear it. I

listened a lot. I laughed. I played Mozart, not badly if I say so myself, but I

swear, I didn’t say anything else to embarrass him.”

John began to laugh. “My, my, you really don’t know, do you?”

I just stared at him. I began to lay the soft white cloths back on Small Bess’s

back and gently smooth them down. Small Bess twisted her head about to see what

I was doing. I petted her and lightly stroked her neck, then looked back at him.

“No. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I guess that you don’t,” he said slowly, his head cocked to one side, a habit

of his that I was getting accustomed to. He did it whenever he was puzzled or

undecided about something.

“Obviously you want to tell me, so get on with it. You have all the subtlety of

a fanatic vicar. What did I say that was so embarrassing to Lawrence?”

“Everyone now knows that you are still a virgin.”

I jumped so high Small Bess kicked out with her back legs. It took me several

moments to calm her, then I said, furious and appalled, “That’s impossible. I

mean it’s true, but I didn’t say anything about that. It would have been absurd

to say that, and disloyal, and above all, surely stupid. Can you imagine me

turning to the marchioness and saying, “Well, my lady, here I am married to this

very nice man, and I’m a virgin, you know.”

His hands were fists at his sides, I saw them, then they eased again. He flexed

his fingers, and said, “No, you didn’t do that. I believe the ladies were

discussing the fact that Napoleon isn’t reputed to have much in the way of, well,

endowment, or size.”

“What endowment? What size? You mean that he isn’t very tall? I have heard that

said often. There’s nothing in that, surely. What does that have to do with

virginity?”

He rolled his eyes. Then he looked remorseful, and that surprised me, because I

knew that he meant it. He was embarrassed. He was sorry he had brought it up. “I

want you to forget it. I meant to tease you about your damned naivete, but I

cannot. Andy, just forget all about it, all right? You’re innocent, and it is

just fine. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. There is nothing for you to

apologize about to my uncle, nothing at all.”

“But?”

He lightly touched his fingertips to my lips. His damned voice was tender, with

just a touch of humor. “No, Andy, just forget it. If you hear anything more

about this, any little jabs or comments, just ignore them, all right?”

I nodded uncertainly.

“Let me be even more clear. Anytime in the next three days that you hear pointed

little comments specifically about Napoleon, you simply keep your mouth shut,

you promise?”

“All right. But I don’t?”

He said, “Small Bess is much better. However, you cannot ride her for weeks to

come. And no, forget about riding Tempest. He wouldn’t need to throw you into a

rabbit hole. He would just pound one into the ground and toss you in. He would

eat you along with his oats for breakfast. He would?”

“That’s really quite enough. These flights of fancy merely reflect what you

would like to happen if ever I have the gall to ride your horse.”

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