I could not find Boynton.
I didn’t like this at all. I went slowly back to my bedchamber. Belinda was
humming as she carefully folded some of my chemises. She smiled when she looked
up to see me. “Jasper took Mr. George for a walk, my lady,” she said. “Now, it
is time for luncheon and aren’t you just a sight? What have you been doing?”
“Just exploring,” I said, and closed the door behind me. I leaned against it a
moment, closing my eyes. John, I thought, where are you?
I did what Belinda told me to do, and I thought and thought. I would go down to
lunch. Why not? I would talk to everyone, and I would wait for John.
And then I would leave this place.
Belinda cleaned me up within the hour, and I walked downstairs to the dining
room. Amelia and Thomas were there, and Miss Crislock. No one knew a thing about
John.
Thomas said after he’d carefully chewed a bite of pork cutlet with tomato sauce,
“I have decided that Amelia’s father is right. I do not wish my aura to be weak
and insubstantial, my shade to be indistinct, my otherworldly spirit to hover
about powerless. I have decided that I will ignore my pains and illnesses. Even
though at this very moment I can feel a very strange itch in the vicinity of my
right armpit, I will pay it no heed. I know Amelia will worry, but I am
determined.”
He leaned over and kissed her, right on the mouth, in front of all of us. Miss
Crislock gave me one of her delightful crooked grins, and a wink.
I took a bite of my oyster patty.
Where was John?
Amelia said, “My love, tell me about this strange itch so I can know whether or
not I should concern myself.”
Instead he kissed her again.
We laughed. I don’t know where that laugh came from, but it came, full blown and
charmed at the two of them.
Lawrence wouldn’t be home until Christmas. I had more than enough time to make
plans and execute them.
The afternoon passed quickly. I met with Mrs. Redbreast and discussed the
servants, the state of the linens in the servants’ rooms and the replacement of
dishes in the kitchen. I planned menus with Cook. I complimented Brantley on
George’s training, although I wanted my old dog back. This new George who sat
obediently until told otherwise just wasn’t as much fun. I looked in on Small
Bess. Her back and her hock were healing nicely.
It was late that afternoon when I visited Miss Gillbank and Judith in the
nursery. I learned how to say good day in Greek.
It was then that Judith reminded me that I had promised her that she was
supposed to dine with the adults for a full week. I had forgotten. My brain was
weighted down with fear. Ah, this would be a diversion, one that I sorely needed.
I smiled at this beautiful girl and told her I would speak to Mrs. Redbreast
immediately so that Cook would make some Iced Charlotte for her dessert.
Actually, it was Brantley who agreed to see to the Iced Charlotte for Judith’s
dessert. I changed my clothes while Belinda fussed. I enjoyed her fussing. It
made me feel safe, a feeling I knew well was an illusion.
I walked quickly down the main staircase, across the Old Hall and into the main
drawing room. I hoped John would be here.
I was smiling.
Then I froze.
There was my husband, his head bent as he listened to something Miss Crislock
was saying. She was seated gracefully in a winged chair, Judith and Miss
Gillbank sat opposite. Amelia was standing behind a high-back chair, twirling
her glass between long graceful fingers, looking somewhat distracted. Neither
John nor Thomas was there.
“Good evening, my dear.”
I didn’t know what to do. Should I scream that my husband wanted to hurt me?
Perhaps slice my throat? I just didn’t know what to do, and so I wiped the fear
off my face and smiled.
“What a wonderful surprise, sir. So very unexpected.” It was well-done, I