The Devil’s Diadem by Sara Douglass

‘Yes,’ I said, ‘and once to the roof of the northern keep at night.’

‘And why did he do that?’

‘He wanted to show me the castle at night,’ I said. ‘He told me of the old legends about this hill, of the ancients who believed it sacred. He wanted to show me …’

‘He wanted to show you what?’ the earl said softly.

‘Sometimes, he said, in the illusory moonlight one might see dancers where now stands a castle.’

‘And did the illusory moonlight perform for you its tricks?’

I tilted my head. Maybe, maybe not. ‘Perhaps I was asleep, in the lateness of the hour and my tiredness. Maybe I dreamed.’

‘What did you see?’

‘I dreamed I did indeed see dancers on this rock on which the castle now stands. They danced about a man with light on his head. And there were tens of thousands of people holding torches, lining that ridge, and that, and that,’ I said, pointing. ‘But it was an illusion, no doubt.’

‘Doubtless. I am a man of the sun. Stephen was always lurking about in the moonlight.

‘Yet,’ the earl continued, ‘I, too, dream of such things …’

‘What things?’

He was looking to the peak of Pen Cerrig-calch again. ‘Of dark things, Maeb. Of the never-ending screams of hell, and of the Devil, come to snatch me. I dream I will lose everything I have ever worked for. Lose it all, to hell.’

I was horrified. ‘My lord! You surely have no need to fear the Devil!’

‘You have no idea what I have done in my lifetime. No idea of what alliances I have made. No idea at all.’

I did not know what to reply. His face had closed over, become rigid and unknowable, and I felt a shiver run down my spine.

Then he blinked, and turned his eyes from the mountain to me. ‘I have frightened you, Maeb. Ah, I am sorry for it, for I should not have spoken the meanderings of my thoughts aloud. Forgive me.’

‘Done, my lord.’ Yet still I had to repress the desire to take a step backward, to remove myself from him, just a pace or two. I realised we stood right against the parapet and that with a twist or two of his strong arms he could dash me to the ground below.

‘Did you love Stephen?’ he asked, once more looking over the inner bailey. ‘Speak the truth, for I will know otherwise.’

‘Yes.’ I could barely speak the word, so wary was I of the earl right now.

‘Did he speak of me on his deathbed? Again, speak truth only.’

‘No,’ I said. ‘He spoke of Edmond, and of the honour Stephen had at spending his youth within the king’s household.’

‘You have a harsh tongue for truth, Maeb.’

‘It was what you asked for, my lord.’

I had taken that step back now. ‘Do you think to use me to return to the king’s court, and the king’s regard?’

‘How can that be?’ I said. ‘It was not I who proposed this marriage.’

His mouth curved in a small smile. ‘No, it was not.’

‘My lord, I am walking into a marriage that I think you have constructed to punish me.’

‘It is not meant to punish you.’

‘The deaths of Stephen and Rosamund and John will always lie between us, forever keeping us cold and distant if I cannot find your forgiveness for what I did. It was such a sin, my lord, I know it, but I would do it over again. They suffered so much. Stephen —’

‘I have never blamed you for their deaths, Maeb. I blame myself. If only I had not taken the path I have … if only I had returned a day or two earlier … if only …’

‘You could not have saved them, my lord. No one could.’

‘They should not have died!’

I said nothing, but took yet another surreptitious step away. ‘They should not have died,’ he said again, much softer now, striking softly at the top of the stone parapet with his fist. ‘Their deaths were an arrow meant for my own heart. As yours was also meant to be.’

I did not understand his words. ‘My lord, Stephen dreamed as he died. I had the same dream.’

‘What dream?’

‘My lord, it was terrible. We both dreamed that the Devil came for us. A giant, hulking, monstrous presence. Sir … I have not the words to describe the terror I felt, and which Stephen doubtless felt, too.’

‘I know of it, Maeb. Continue. What did the Devil want?’

‘I do not truly know, my lord. He took me by the throat, and shook me, and demanded to know where it was.’

‘Where what was?’

Tears came to my eyes as I remembered the terror of that night. ‘I don’t know! He just asked over and over, shaking me, where it was, what had I done with “it”!’

‘And Stephen had this dream, too?’

‘Aye. His was worse, I think. And after … after, bruising appeared on his throat, as if the Devil had caught him in the same way.’

‘Damn him, for so hounding my son! Did he truly think Stephen had it? He knew I would hear of this, and knew how cruelly it would wound me. Damn him!’

‘My lord?’ Now he spoke in riddled circles. ‘I speak nothing but the rantings of a grieving father.’ The earl leaned back against the parapet, looking thoughtful. ‘Some say, Maeb, that this plague is Devil-sent —’

‘That I can believe!’

‘Sent by the master of hell to seek something, something he has lost.’

‘Then I hope he finds it soon,’ I said bitterly.

‘Ah,’ said the earl softly, ‘mayhap we should not wish so hard for that.’

‘Why not?’

He gave a shrug of the shoulders, then a small, cold smile. ‘What is this, Maeb? I swear a few minutes ago we were standing close. Now look at you. A half-dozen paces away. Do I frighten you so greatly?’

‘Very often, my lord. You say things I cannot understand, and I fear that you are always angry at me.’

‘You should not seek to understand me,’ he said. ‘You might not like what you discover. But to other, more delightful, matters. You are looking much better, Maeb. Perhaps the day after tomorrow we can speak the vows of betrothal. I see no reason to wait. Then shortly after, we may marry.’

I tried one more time, simply to quiet my mind. ‘My lord, why me? You could have the choice of any noble lady. You could pick up wealth and estates and alliances simply by riding your way to court and snapping your fingers at those highly ranked women looking for a husband. Why me?’

‘Have I not said enough, Maeb? You are a woman, and I need a wife. If you want more, then I will say that you are a lovely woman, and it will be no trouble on my part to bed you. Is that enough for you? If not, then I regret it, for there is nothing more to say. Now, take my arm and do not be afraid. I will see you back to the solar, where I will set you back in your chair and you will be safe once more.’

There was just a little amusement in that last, so I stepped forward and took his arm, and the earl saw me safe back to the solar.

Chapter Six

I sat up late into the night, stitching the earl’s gift, hoping it would be good enough to please him. The earl had set the date for our betrothal for the day after tomorrow, Saint Swithun’s Day, and I needed to have the gift finished. Evelyn and the two other women were making good progress on the kirtles and chemises. All would be ready. From Saint Swithun’s Day I could be a reasonable apparition of an earl’s betrothed.

I still had fears regarding the marriage, and the earl’s motivations for it, but I tried to set them to one side. I had little choice in the matter and only hoped that I should not be a wife to embarrass my husband, his name, or his titles and influences. I had always wanted marriage, I had always wanted a good marriage, and now that I had moved past my startlement at how good a marriage I would make, I resolved to do my best.

While I sat up late stitching, remembering what had happened on the roof of the great keep (were all the stranger days of my life to be delineated by rooftop conversations?), I prayed to the Blessed Saint Virgin Mary to guide me, as also to the departed souls of Stephen and Lady Adelie. I prayed to Stephen for his forgiveness, and hoped that from his place in heaven (where surely he must be) he would not think I had stepped on his dead back to reach the higher prize of his father. To Lady Adelie I prayed for guidance in my life ahead, as also forgiveness for what I had done to her children, and that I was to take her place in her marriage bed.