Her servant.
If she had lost a great love with Spencer’s death, this mourning might have seemed more real. If they had shared more than a name. If she had truly drowned her loneliness in Society’s pleasures, as everyone believed… as she wished to drown it now.
She closed her eyes and leaned heavily against the chipped Queen Anne dressing table. It was to banish such thoughts that she had been so determined to ride out on this winter’s day. Perhaps the bleakness of the countryside would remind her that her mourning was far from over.
She tossed back her head and laughed. Self-pity was dull and frightfully odious. Not at all the thing.
And she had Donal.
She looked in on him before she went downstairs. Nancy scrambled up from the floor as Eden entered the small room they had set aside for the temporary nursery. The maid’s face was screwed into an expression of vexation and bewilderment.
“My lady,” she said, bobbing a curtsy. She cast a nervous glance toward the window. Donal was perched on a wobbly chair pushed up against the wall, nose and hands pressed to the glass.
“Is something wrong, Nancy?” Eden asked.
“No, my lady.” Nancy wiped her hands on her apron and hunched her shoulders. “We was playing right along, my lady, when he just stopped. He pulled the chair to the window, and just keeps staring out—won’t listen to me, my lady.” The maid bit her lip. “I’m sorry, my lady.”
“It’s all right, Nancy.” Eden stared at Donal’s rigid little back. He reminded her of nothing so much as a caged animal dreaming of freedom. She could not bear to see him so.
“He needs fresh air,” she said. “I will take him out.”
“Thank you, my lady.” Nancy curtsied again and began to gather up the few toys Eden had located in a battered chest in the attic.
“Donal,” Eden said, moving up behind him. “Would you like to go for a ride?”
He turned about so fast that she feared he would fall. “A ride? On a horse?”
She had no pony suitable for a child of his age—another lack she must remedy. They would have to take the estate’s old four-wheeled dog cart, which Mrs. Byrne had assured her was still in working order, used as it was for twice-monthly visits to Ambleside, when weather permitted, and sometimes to the curate’s or the smithy.
It would certainly be put to the test now. Eden hoped that she was up to driving it over the rutted, muddy roads.
The other challenge was taking Donal down to the stables and changing her previous instructions.
She tugged at the sleeves of her riding gloves. “Nancy, I shall be gone for an hour or two.”
“Shall I dress Master Donal?”
“Thank you. I shall do it myself.” Eden picked Donal up and carried him to her room, where his few clothes were kept. His former guardians—she would not call them parents—hadn’t seen fit to send him with much in the way of necessities. The tiny village of Birkdale surely had a woman capable of sewing up a child’s clothes, but Donal required the kind of wardrobe that could only be found in a larger town such as Ambleside. Another journey to be made.
Unlike most boys his age, Donal was amazingly well behaved as she dressed him and bundled him up in his jacket. He looked a perfect ragamuffin, but she could not have loved him more.
Do you love me, my son? she longed to ask. But she dared not. How could she expect so much after less than a day? It was miracle enough that he’d accepted her nearly upon their first meeting.
But he looked directly into her eyes, and his own held such an expression of trust that she felt dizzy with gratitude. She hugged him, not too close, and took his hand. His fingers curled about hers. She sighed with sheer happiness.
Juno waited, saddled and ready, in front of the house, but her new employee was not in attendance. She pressed her lips together, suspecting some subtle, fresh impertinence.
Donal released her hand and walked up to the mare’s head, stroking her velvet nose. She lipped at his fingers. Before Eden could suggest that they take Juno back to the stables, he had already turned down the drive, marching off to the rear of the house with Juno trailing at his heels like an obedient dog.