in here every day at eleven for coffee. Just show up.” I finished my beer and called a cab to take me home. I wanted to walk around the city, but Mother was right. I’d get a bodyguard first. 9 I came home and the phone was blinking pale blue. Didn’t know what to do so I punched “Operator.” A pretty young girl’s head materialized in the cube. “Jefferson operator,” she said. “May I help you?” “Yes. . . what does it mean when the cube is blinking blue?” “Huh?” “What does it mean when the phone-” “Are you serious?” I was getting a little tired of this kind of thing. “It’s a long story. Honest, I don’t know.” “When it blinks blue you’re supposed to call the operator.” “Okay, here I am.” “No, not me, the real operator. Punch nine. Then punch zero.” I did that and an old harridan appeared. “Ob-a-ray-duh.” “This is William Mandella at 301-52-574-3975. I was supposed to call you.” “Juzza segun.” She reached outside the field of view and typed something. “You god.da call from 605-19-556-2027.” I scribbled it down on the pad by the phone. “Where’s that?” “Juzza segun. South Dakota.” “Thanks.” I didn’t know anybody in South Dakota. A pleasant-looking old woman answered the phone. “Yes?” “I had a call from this number. . . uh… I’m-” “Oh. Sergeant Mandella! Just a second.” I watched the diagonal bar of the holding pattern for a second, then fifty or so more. Then a head came into focus. Marygay. “William. I had a heck of a time finding you.” Lz~j Joe Ilaldeman “Darling, me too. What are you doing in South Dakota?” “My parents live here, in a little commune. That’s why it took me so long to get to the phone.” She held up two grimy hands. “Digging potatoes.” “But when I checked.. . the records said-the records in Tucson said your parents were both dead.” “No, they’re just dropouts-you know about dropouts?- new name, new life. I got the word through a cousin.” “Well-well, how’ve you been? Like the country life?” “That’s one reason I’ve been wanting to get you. Willy, I’m bored. It’s all very healthy and nice, but I want to do something dissipated and wicked. Naturally I thought of you.,, “I’m flattered. Pick you up at eight?” She checked a clock above the phone. “No, look, let’s get a good night’s sleep. Besides, I’ve got to get in the rest of the potatoes. Meet me at. . . the Ellis Island jetport at ten tomorrow morning. Mmm. . . Trans-World information desk.” “Okay. Make reservations for where?” She shrugged. “Pick a place.” “London used to be pretty wicked.” “Sounds good. First class?” “What else? I’ll get us a suite on one of the dirigibles.” “Good. Decadent. How long shall I pack for?” “We’ll buy clothes along the way. Travel light. Just one stuffed wallet apiece.” She giggled. “Wonderful. Tomorrow at ten.” “Fine-ub. . . Marygay, do you have a gun?” “It’s that bad?” “Here around Washington it is.” “Well, I’ll get one. Dad has a couple over the fireplace. Guess they’re left over from Tucson.” “We’ll hope we won’t need them.” “Willy, you know it’ll just be for decoration. I couldn’t even kill a Tauran.” “Of course.” We just looked at each other for a second. “Tomorrow at ten, then.” “Right. Love you.” THE FOREVER WAR 129 ”lJh . . She giggled again and hung up. That was just too many things to think about all at once.
I got us two round-the-world dirigible tickets; unlimited stops as long as you kept going east. It took me a little over two hours to get to Ellis by autocab and monorail. I was early, but so was Marygay. She was talking to the girl at the desk and didn’t see me coming. Her outfit was really arresting, a tight coverall of plastic in a pattern of interlocking hands; as your angle of sight changed, various strategic hands became transparent. She had a ruddy sun-glow all over her body. I don’t know whether the feeling that rushed over me was simple honest lust or something more complicated. I hurried up behind her. Whispering: “What are we going to do for three hours?” She turned and gave me a quick hug and thanked the girl at the desk, then grabbed my hand and pulled me along to a slidewalk. “Um.. . where are we headed?” “Don’t ask questions, Sergeant. Just follow me.” We stepped onto a roundabout and transferred to an eastbound slidewalk. “Do you want something to eat or drink?” she asked innocently. I tried to leer. “Any alternatives?” She laughed gaily. Several people stared. “Just a second here!” We jumped off. It was a corridor marked “Roomettes.” She handed me a key. That damned plastic coverall was held on by static electricity. Since the roomette was nothing but a big waterbed, I almost broke my neck the first time it shocked me. I recovered. We were lying on our stomachs, looking through the one-way glass wall at the people rushing around down on the concourse. Marygay passed me a joint. “William, have you used that thing yet?” “What thing?” “That hawg-leg. The pistol.” 130 Joe Haldeman “Only shot it once, in the store where I bought it.” “Do you really think you could point it at someone and blow him apart?” I took a shallow puff and passed it back. “Hadn’t given it much thought, really. Until we talked last night.” “Well?” “I. . . I don’t really know. The only time I’ve killed was on Aleph, under hypnotic compulsion. But I don’t think it would. . . bother me, not that much, not if the person was trying to kill me in the first place. Why should it?” “Life,” she said plaintively, “life is. . .” “Life is a bunch of cells walking around with a common purpose. If that common purpose is to get my ass-” “Oh,William. You sound like old Cortez.” “Cortez kept us alive.” “Not many of us,” she snapped. I rolled over and studied the ceiling tiles. She traced little designs on my chest, pushing the sweat around with her fingertip. “I’m sorry, William. I guess we’re both just trying to adjust.” “That’s okay. You’re right, anyhow.” We talked for a long time. The only urban center Mary-gay had been to since our publicity rounds (which were very sheltered) was Sioux Falls. She had gone with her parents and the commune bodyguard. It sounded like a scaled-down version of Washington: the same problems, but not as acute. We ticked off the things that bothered us: violence, high cost of living, too many people everywhere. I’d have added homolife, but Marygay said I just didn’t appreciate the social dynamic that had led to it; it had been inevitable. The only thing she said she had against it was that it took so many of the prettiest men out of circulation. And the main thing that was wrong was that everything seemed to have gotten just a little worse, or at best remained the same. You would have predicted that at least a few facets of everyday life would improve markedly in twenty-two years. Her father contended the War was behind it all: any person who showed a shred of talent was sucked THE FOREVER WAR 131 up by UNEF; the very best fell to the Elite Conscription Act and wound up being cannon fodder. It was hard not to agree with him. Wars in the past often accelerated social reform, provided technological benefits, even sparked artistic activity. This one, however, seemed tailor-made to provide none of these positive by-products. Such improvements as had been made on late-twentieth-century technology were-like tachyon bombs and warships two kilometers long-at best, interesting developments of things that only required the synergy of money and existing engineering techniques. Social reform? The world was technically under martial law. As for art, I’m not sure I know good from bad. But artists to some extent have to reflect the temper of the times. Paintings and sculpture were full of torture and dark brooding; movies seemed static and plotless; music was dominated by nostalgic revivals of earlier forms; architecture was mainly concerned with finding someplace to put everybody; literature was damn near incomprehensible. Most people seemed to spend most of their time trying to find ways to outwit the government, trying to scrounge a few extra K’s or ration tickets without putting their lives in too much danger. And in the past, people whose country was at war were constantly in contact with the war. The newspapers would be full of reports, veterans would return from the front sometimes the front would move right into town, invaders marching down Main Street or bombs whistling through the night air-but always the sense of either working toward victory or at least delaying defeat. The enemy was a tangible thing, a propagandist’s monster whom you could understand, whom you could hate. But this war. . . the enemy was a curious organism only vaguely understood, more often the subject of cartoons than nightmares. The main effect of the war on the home front was economic, unemotional-more taxes but more jobs as well. After twenty-two years, only twenty-seven returned veterans; not enough to make a decent parade. The most important fact about the war to most people was that if it ended suddenly, Earth’s economy would collapse. 132 Joe Haldeman