The Gilded Age by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner

politics here. I wouldn’t take a quarter of a million for what I can do

in this present session–no indeed I wouldn’t. Now, here–I don’t

altogether like this. That insignificant secretary of legation is–why,

she’s smiling on him as if he–and now on the Admiral! Now she’s

illuminating that, stuffy Congressman from Massachusetts–vulgar

ungrammatcal shovel-maker–greasy knave of spades. I don’t like this

sort of thing. She doesn’t appear to be much distressed about me–she

hasn’t looked this way once. All right, my bird of Paradise, if it suits

you, go on. But I think I know your sex. I’ll go to smiling around a

little, too, and see what effect that will have on you”

And he did “smile around a little,” and got as near to her as he could to

watch the effect, but the scheme was a failure–he could not get her

attention. She seemed wholly unconscious of him, and so he could not

flirt with any spirit; he could only talk disjointedly; he could not keep

his eyes on the charmers he talked to; he grew irritable, jealous, and

very, unhappy. He gave up his enterprise, leaned his shoulder against a

fluted pilaster and pouted while he kept watch upon Laura’s every

movement. His other shoulder stole the bloom from many a lovely cheek

that brushed him in the surging crush, but he noted it not. He was too

busy cursing himself inwardly for being an egotistical imbecile. An hour

ago he had thought to take this country lass under his protection and

show her “life” and enjoy her wonder and delight–and here she was,

immersed in the marvel up to her eyes, and just a trifle more at home in

it than he was himself. And now his angry comments ran on again:

“Now she’s sweetening old Brother Balaam; and he–well he is inviting her

to the Congressional prayer-meeting, no doubt–better let old Dilworthy

alone to see that she doesn’t overlook that. And now its Splurge, of New

York; and now its Batters of New Hampshire–and now the Vice President!

Well I may as well adjourn. I’ve got enough.”

But he hadn’t. He got as far as the door–and then struggled back to

take one more look, hating himself all the while for his weakness.

Toward midnight, when supper was announced, the crowd thronged to the

supper room where a long table was decked out with what seemed a rare

repast, but which consisted of things better calculated to feast the eye

than the appetite. The ladies were soon seated in files along the wall,

and in groups here and there, and the colored waiters filled the plates

and glasses and the, male guests moved hither and thither conveying them

to the privileged sex.

Harry took an ice and stood up by the table with other gentlemen, and

listened to the buzz of conversation while he ate.

From these remarks he learned a good deal about Laura that was news to

him. For instance, that she was of a distinguished western family; that

she was highly educated; that she was very rich and a great landed

heiress; that she was not a professor of religion, and yet was a

Christian in the truest and best sense of the word, for her whole heart

was devoted to the accomplishment of a great and noble enterprise–none

other than the sacrificing of her landed estates to the uplifting of the

down-trodden negro and the turning of his erring feet into the way of

light and righteousness. Harry observed that as soon as one listener had

absorbed the story, he turned about and delivered it to his next neighbor

and the latter individual straightway passed it on. And thus he saw it

travel the round of the gentlemen and overflow rearward among the ladies.

He could not trace it backward to its fountain head, and so he could not

tell who it was that started it.

One thing annoyed Harry a great deal; and that was the reflection that he

might have been in Washington days and days ago and thrown his

fascinations about Laura with permanent effect while she was new and

strange to the capital, instead of dawdling in Philadelphia to no

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