The Gilded Age by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner

had the fashion peculiar to many natives of that city of pronouncing saw

and law as if they were spelt sawr and lawr.

Petroleum was the agent that had suddenly transformed the Gashlys from

modest hard-working country village folk into “loud” aristocrats and

ornaments of the city.

The Hon. Patrique Oreille was a wealthy Frenchman from Cork. Not that he

was wealthy when he first came from Cork, but just the reverse. When he

first landed in New York with his wife, he had only halted at Castle

Garden for a few minutes to receive and exhibit papers showing that he

had resided in this country two years–and then he voted the democratic

ticket and went up town to hunt a house. He found one and then went to

work as assistant to an architect and builder, carrying a hod all day and

studying politics evenings. Industry and economy soon enabled him to

start a low rum shop in a foul locality, and this gave him political

influence. In our country it is always our first care to see that our

people have the opportunity of voting for their choice of men to

represent and govern them–we do not permit our great officials to

appoint the little officials. We prefer to have so tremendous a power as

that in our own hands. We hold it safest to elect our judges and

everybody else. In our cities, the ward meetings elect delegates to the

nominating conventions and instruct them whom to nominate. The publicans

and their retainers rule the ward meetings (for every body else hates the

worry of politics and stays at home); the delegates from the ward

meetings organize as a nominating convention and make up a list of

candidates–one convention offering a democratic and another a republican

list of incorruptibles; and then the great meek public come forward at

the proper time and make unhampered choice and bless Heaven that they

live in a free land where no form of despotism can ever intrude.

Patrick O’Riley (as his name then stood) created friends and influence

very, fast, for he was always on hand at the police courts to give straw

bail for his customers or establish an alibi for them in case they had

been beating anybody to death on his premises. Consequently he presently

became a political leader, and was elected to a petty office under the

city government. Out of a meager salary he soon saved money enough to

open quite a stylish liquor saloon higher up town, with a faro bank

attached and plenty of capital to conduct it with. This gave him fame

and great respectability. The position of alderman was forced upon him,

and it was just the same as presenting him a gold mine. He had fine

horses and carriages, now, and closed up his whiskey mill.

By and by he became a large contractor for city work, and was a bosom

friend of the great and good Wm. M. Weed himself, who had stolen

$20,600,000 from the city and was a man so envied, so honored,–so

adored, indeed, that when the sheriff went to his office to arrest him as

a felon, that sheriff blushed and apologized, and one of the illustrated

papers made a picture of the scene and spoke of the matter in such a way

as to show that the editor regretted that the offense of an arrest had

been offered to so exalted a personage as Mr. Weed.

Mr. O’Riley furnished shingle nails to, the new Court House at three

thousand dollars a keg, and eighteen gross of 60-cent thermometers at

fifteen hundred dollars a dozen; the controller and the board of audit

passed the bills, and a mayor, who was simply ignorant but not criminal,

signed them. When they were paid, Mr. O’Riley’s admirers gave him a

solitaire diamond pin of the size of a filbert, in imitation of the

liberality of Mr. Weed’s friends, and then Mr. O’Riley retired from

active service and amused himself with buying real estate at enormous

figures and holding it in other people’s names. By and by the newspapers

came out with exposures and called Weed and O’Riley “thieves,”–whereupon

the people rose as one man (voting repeatedly) and elected the two

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