The Gilded Age by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner

“Oh, never; he and I are sworn brothers on that measure; we work in

harness and are very loving–I do everything I possibly can for him

there. But I work with might and main against his Immigration bill,

–as pertinaciously and as vindictively, indeed, as he works against our

University. We hate each other through half a conversation and are all

affection through the other half. We understand each other. He is an

admirable worker outside the capitol; he will do more for the Pension

bill than any other man could do; I wish he would make the great speech

on it which he wants to make–and then I would make another and we would

be safe.”

“Well if he wants to make a great speech why doesn’t he do it?”

Visitors interrupted the conversation and Mr. Buckstone took his leave.

It was not of the least moment to Laura that her question had not been

answered, inasmuch as it concerned a thing which did not interest her;

and yet, human being like, she thought she would have liked to know.

An opportunity occurring presently, she put the same question to another

person and got an answer that satisfied her. She pondered a good while

that night, after she had gone to bed, and when she finally turned over,

to, go to sleep, she had thought out a new scheme. The next evening at

Mrs. Gloverson’s party, she said to Mr. Buckstone:

“I want Mr. Trollop to make his great speech on the Pension bill.”

“Do you? But you remember I was interrupted, and did not explain

to you–”

“Never mind, I know. You must’ make him make that speech. I very.

particularly desire, it.”

“Oh, it is easy, to say make him do it, but how am I to make him!”

“It is perfectly easy; I have thought it all out.”

She then went into the details. At length Mr. Buckstone said:

“I see now. I can manage it, I am sure. Indeed I wonder he never

thought of it himself–there are no end of precedents. But how is this

going to benefit you, after I have managed it? There is where the

mystery lies.”

“But I will take care of that. It will benefit me a great deal.”

“I only wish I could see how; it is the oddest freak. You seem to go the

furthest around to get at a thing–but you are in earnest, aren’t you?”

“Yes I am, indeed.”

“Very well, I will do it–but why not tell me how you imagine it is going

to help you?”

“I will, by and by.–Now there is nobody talking to him. Go straight and

do it, there’s a good fellow.”

A moment or two later the two sworn friends of the Pension bill were

talking together, earnestly, and seemingly unconscious of the moving

throng about them. They talked an hour, and then Mr. Buckstone came back

and said:

“He hardly fancied it at first, but he fell in love with it after a bit.

And we have made a compact, too. I am to keep his secret and he is to

spare me, in future, when he gets ready to denounce the supporters of the

University bill–and I can easily believe he will keep his word on this

occasion.”

A fortnight elapsed, and the University bill had gathered to itself many

friends, meantime. Senator Dilworthy began to think the harvest was

ripe. He conferred with Laura privately. She was able to tell him

exactly how the House would vote. There was a majority–the bill would

pass, unless weak members got frightened at the last, and deserted–a

thing pretty likely to occur. The Senator said:

“I wish we had one more good strong man. Now Trollop ought to be on our

side, for he is a friend of the negro. But be is against us, and is our

bitterest opponent. If he would simply vote No, but keep quiet and not

molest us, I would feel perfectly cheerful and content. But perhaps

there is no use in thinking of that.”

“Why I laid a little plan for his benefit two weeks ago. I think he will

be tractable, maybe. He is to come here tonight.”

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