The Gilded Age by Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner

spies reported everything to him, and that–

Here a member of the Committee objected that this evidence was irrelevant

and also in opposition to the spirit of the Committee’s instructions,

because if these things reflected upon any one it was upon Mr. Dilworthy.

The chairman said, let the person proceed with his statement–the

Committee could exclude evidence that did not bear upon the case.

Mr. Noble continued. He said that his party would cast him out if he

voted for Mr, Dilworthy; Dilwortby said that that would inure to his

benefit because he would then be a recognized friend of his (Dilworthy’s)

and he could consistently exalt him politically and make his fortune;

Noble said he was poor, and it was hard to tempt him so; Dilworthy said

he would fix that; he said, Tell, me what you want, and say you will vote

for me;” Noble could not say; Dilworthy said “I will give you $5,000.”

A Committee man said, impatiently, that this stuff was all outside the

case, and valuable time was being wasted; this was all, a plain

reflection upon a brother Senator. The Chairman said it was the quickest

way to proceed, and the evidence need have no weight.

Mr. Noble continued. He said he told Dilworthy that $5,000 was not much

to pay for a man’s honor, character and everything that was worth having;

Dilworthy said he was surprised; he considered $5,000 a fortune–for some

men; asked what Noble’s figure was; Noble said he could not think $10,000

too little; Dilworthy said it was a great deal too much; he would not do

it for any other man, but he had conceived a liking for Noble, and where

he liked a man his heart yearned to help him; he was aware that Noble was

poor, and had a family to support, and that he bore an unblemished

reputation at home; for such a man and such a man’s influence he could do

much, and feel that to help such a man would be an act that would have

its reward; the struggles of the poor always touched him; he believed

that Noble would make a good use of this money and that it would cheer

many a sad heart and needy home; he would give the, $10,000; all he

desired in return was that when the balloting began, Noble should cast

his vote for him and should explain to the legislature that upon looking

into the charges against Mr. Dilworthy of bribery, corruption, and

forwarding stealing measures in Congress he had found them to be base

calumnies upon a man whose motives were pure and whose character was

stainless; he then took from his pocket $2,000 in bank bills and handed

them to Noble, and got another package containing $5,000 out of his trunk

and gave to him also. He—-

A Committee man jumped up, and said:

“At last, Mr. Chairman, this shameless person has arrived at the point.

This is sufficient and conclusive. By his own confession he has received

a bribe, and did it deliberately.

This is a grave offense, and cannot be passed over in silence, sir. By

the terms of our instructions we can now proceed to mete out to him such

punishment as is meet for one who has maliciously brought disrespect upon

a Senator of the United States. We have no need to hear the rest of his

evidence.”

The Chairman said it would be better and more regular to proceed with the

investigation according to the usual forms. A note would be made of

Mr. Noble’s admission.

Mr. Noble continued. He said that it was now far past midnight; that he

took his leave and went straight to certain legislators, told them

everything, made them count the money, and also told them of the exposure

he would make in joint convention; he made that exposure, as all the

world knew. The rest of the $10,000 was to be paid the day after

Dilworthy was elected.

Senator Dilworthy was now asked to take the stand and tell what he knew

about the man Noble. The Senator wiped his mouth with his handkerchief,

adjusted his white cravat, and said that but for the fact that public

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