gentlemen to their proper theatre of action, the New York legislature.
The newspapers clamored, and the courts proceeded to try the new
legislators for their small irregularities. Our admirable jury system
enabled the persecuted ex-officials to secure a jury of nine gentlemen
from a neighboring asylum and three graduates from Sing-Sing, and
presently they walked forth with characters vindicated. The legislature
was called upon to spew them forth–a thing which the legislature
declined to do. It was like asking children to repudiate their own
father. It was a legislature of the modern pattern.
Being now wealthy and distinguished, Mr. O’Riley, still bearing the
legislative “Hon.” attached to his name (for titles never die in America,
although we do take a republican pride in poking fun at such trifles),
sailed for Europe with his family. They traveled all about, turning
their noses up at every thing, and not finding it a difficult thing to
do, either, because nature had originally given those features a cast in
that direction; and finally they established themselves in Paris, that
Paradise of Americans of their sort.–They staid there two years and
learned to speak English with a foreign accent–not that it hadn’t always
had a foreign accent (which was indeed the case) but now the nature of it
was changed. Finally they returned home and became ultra fashionables.
They landed here as the Hon. Patrique Oreille and family, and so are
known unto this day.
Laura provided seats for her visitors and they immediately launched forth
into a breezy, sparkling conversation with that easy confidence which is
to be found only among persons accustomed to high life.
“I’ve been intending to call sooner, Miss Hawkins,” said the Hon. Mrs.
Oreille, but the weather’s been so horrid. How do you like Washington?”
Laura liked it very well indeed.
Mrs. Gashly–“Is it your first visit?”
Yea, it was her first.
All–“Indeed?”
Mrs. Oreille–“I’m afraid you’ll despise the weather, Miss Hawkins.
It’s perfectly awful. It always is. I tell Mr. Oreille I can’t and
I won’t put up with any such a climate. If we were obliged to do it,
I wouldn’t mind it; but we are not obliged to, and so I don’t see the use
of it. Sometimes its real pitiful the way the childern pine for Parry–
don’t look so sad, Bridget, ‘ma chere’–poor child, she can’t hear Parry
mentioned without getting the blues.”
Mrs. Gashly–“Well I should think so, Mrs. Oreille. A body lives in
Paris, but a body, only stays here. I dote on Paris; I’d druther scrimp
along on ten thousand dollars a year there, than suffer and worry here on
a real decent income.”
Miss Gashly–“Well then, I wish you’d take us back, mother; I’m sure I
hate this stoopid country enough, even if it is our dear native land.”
Miss Emmeline Gashly–“What and leave poor Johnny Peterson behind?” [An
airy genial laugh applauded this sally].
Miss Gashly–“Sister, I should think you’d be ashamed of yourself!”
Miss Emmeline–“Oh, you needn’t ruffle your feathers so: I was only
joking. He don’t mean anything by coming to, the house every evening–
only comes to see mother. Of course that’s all!” [General laughter].
Miss G. prettily confused–“Emmeline, how can you!”
Mrs. G.–“Let your sister alone, Emmeline. I never saw such a tease!”
Mrs. Oreille–“What lovely corals you have, Miss Hawkins! Just look at
them, Bridget, dear. I’ve a great passion for corals–it’s a pity
they’re getting a little common. I have some elegant ones–not as
elegant as yours, though–but of course I don’t wear them now.”
Laura–“I suppose they are rather common, but still I have a great
affection for these, because they were given to me by a dear old friend
of our family named Murphy. He was a very charming man, but very
eccentric. We always supposed he was an Irishman, but after be got rich
he went abroad for a year or two, and when he came back you would have
been amused to see how interested he was in a potato. He asked what it
was! Now you know that when Providence shapes a mouth especially for the
accommodation of a potato you can detect that fact at a glance when that