“Okay. Now give me three minus one.”
She tapped twice.
“Now the square root of nine.”
She looked at me inquisitively, sort of tilting her head sideways, the way a dog does. “Do you know what a square root is?”
She shook her head no.
That tore it. I knew what a square root was and if this was the Clever Hans thing, she would have tapped out three. Down deep, I’d been expecting it all along. Anna was an outstanding creature. She was physically, mentally, and morally superior to anything a horse had a fight to be.
“Anna, are you really a horse?”
She stared at me for a second, then shook her head no.
“Are you a human being?”
She shook her head.
“Some kind of machine, then?”
No.
“Some sort of alien? From some other planet?”
No and no.
“Are you naturally born? Some sort of mutant?”
Yes and no.
“You were born naturally and are not a mutant?”
Yes.
“Anna, I came to this country in some kind of a time machine, I think. At least it was a strange vault in the subbasement of an old inn. Do you know about time machines?”
Yes and no.
“Let me try again. Are you in any way connected with any individual or group that has anything to do with a time machine?”
Yes’ ‘
“Do you know how such a device works?”
No.
“Well, at least that tells me that you’re somehow connected with some pretty high technology. Are you the result of some high technology? Bioengineering?”
Yes and yes.
“But you were born naturally … oh, of course. Your ancestors were bioengineered.”
Yes.
“You’re from the future then?”
No.
“The past?”
Yes.
“There was some kind of lost civilization in the distant past?”
Yes and no.
That stumped me for a bit. How could it be there and not there? Technology requires a civilization. Doesn’t it?
“You were the product of a civilization?”
Yes.
“Was that civilization in the distant past?”
Yes.
“Then why-okay, it was there but it was not lost.”
Yes.
“I guess that figures. If you’ve got a time machine, there’s no way for anything to get lost. Back to you. You’re an intelligent bioengineered creation.”
Yes and no.
“You’re doing that to me again. You, or at least your ancestors, were bioengineered.”
Yes.
“And you’re intelligent.”
Yes and no.
“You’re intelligent but not as smart as me.”
Yes.
“If that’s true, you’re not far behind me. I haven’t seen you do anything dumb yet and God knows that I’ve pulled some boners lately. Anna, you obviously understand Polish. Can you read it?”
Yes.
“Can you write?”
No.
“Anna, if I made up a big sign with all the letters and numbers on it, could you point to them one after the other and spell things out?”
Yes and no.
“You could try but your spelling isn’t very good.”
Yes.
“Good enough. We’re going to have that sign made up as soon as we get back to Three Walls.”
“Anna, you’re too intelligent to be treated as an animal. As far as I’m concerned, you are people. I don’t own you, but I’d like to stay your friend. Is that okay with you?”
Yes.
“Would you like to work for me., doing just what you have been doing all along?”
Yes.
“I pay most of the men back at Three Walls a penny a day. Is that all right with you?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. We’ll make it retroactive to the time I met you in Cracow. That means that you have about three hundred pence in back pay coming. I might as well hold your money for you, but if there’s anything you want to buy, let me know. Okay?”
Yes.
“Would you like to swear to me, just like all the other people have?”
Yes, vigorously.
“Then we’ll do it. But to do it right, we ought to have witnesses, so I suppose we should wait until we get back to Three Walls. Okay?”
Yes.
That was one of the best moves I ever made.
Getting ready to go again, I said, “Anna, we need more words than just yes and no. How about if shaking your tail means you don’t care one way or the other and that yes-no thing you’ve been doing means that I haven’t asked the right question?”
Yes-no.
“I guess I deserved that ‘ Are the above two communication symbols acceptable to you?”
Yes.
She was as literal-minded as a computer. “Eventually, we’re going to have some long talks, but for now, is there anything that you are unhappy with that I can do something about?”
Yes.
It took another round of “twenty questions,” but I found out what it was. She thought the food was fine and she didn’t mind the work. People treated her well enough and she liked traveling. She didn’t mind a saddle but the bridle annoyed the hell out of her. Would I please take the damn thing off?
“Happy to, my friend. Of course, you never paid much attention to it anyway.”
We continued south, and higher into the High Tatras, a part of the Carpathians. Some purists claim that Tatras are part of the Beskids and the Beskids are part of the Carpathians, but call them what you will, they’re half again higher than anything in New England. To me, they are the most beautiful mountains in the world, and I have loved them ever since my father took me up there when I was a little boy.
It was a bright day with clear mountain skies and clean highland air. Anna was making good speed and many Slavic songs were written to be sung on horseback, to the rhythm of the horse’s hooves. I was singing “The Polish Patrol” and in a fine mood when I came across the most dejected-looking man I’d ever seen. He was sitting by the road with his arms on his knees and his head on his arms.
I brought Anna to a halt. Actually, I just thought about stopping, and Anna picked it up from the way I must have changed my body position on her back.
“I know you, don’t I?” I said.
He looked up at me, but no hint of recollection lit in his eyes.
“Of course I know you,” I said as I dismounted. “You are Ivan Targ. You let me in your home last winter when I was lost in the cold.”
“Yes, now I remember. You were the giant with the priest.” His head dropped back down to his arms.
“Tell me, my friend, why do you look so sad? What is this terrible thing that has happened?” I sat down beside him.
“That.” He pointed to a field. It took me a moment to realize what was wrong with it. It was common to plant two types of grain in the same field at the same time, in that case wheat and rye. If the weather conditions weren’t right for wheat, maybe the rye would do well, and vice versa. Most Polish breads are made from mixed-grain flour, so there was never any need to separate the grains after harvest. But in his field, every stalk of grain had been flattened to the ground.
“The rains did that?” I asked.
“Hail. Last night we had a hailstorm.”
“A pity. That will cost you a great deal of money.”
“That will cost me my life. Mine and my family’s.”
“Surely your other fields will carry you through.”
“That is my only field. That is all the land we have been able to clear in two years’ hard work. This crop was- all I had. If it had ripened, I could have fed my family through the winter and had extra to sell to the merchants. Now, I have nothing, my family has nothing. ”
“This is a disaster, but it doesn’t have to cost your life. Surely your lord will help you through the winter.”
“I have no lord! Don’t you see! I came to these mountains to be done with lords! I was sick of paying half of what I grew just to keep a fat man in his big house from having to work! I came here to be free, and now I will die for it.”
He was serious. This was not the wailing of a businessman over lost profits. This was a man who was looking death in the face.
“Once you let me in from the cold, and gave me a spot by your family’s fire. Without you, I might have frozen to death.” I got out my pouch and poured about five hundred pence into my hand. It was a trifling amount for me, but enough to feed him and his family until spring. “You didn’t know it at the time, but you were throwing bread onto the waters.”
Ivan stared at the money, then he stared at me. He was literally speechless. In a single morning, he had gone out expecting to find his field ripening, his plans prospering. He had found instead absolute disaster. And then, just as he had accepted the ultimate tragedy, a man he barely knew had come along and saved everything. His mind was not up to handling it all, and I had the feeling that he would continue sitting there for hours.