What do you do when you see any literal mistakes in my letters? how do you set them right? for I never read them over to correct them. Farewell, again.
Pray send this note to Mrs. Brent, to get the money when Parvisol comes to town, or she can send to him.
LETTER 30.
126
The Journal to Stella
LETTER 31.
LONDON, Sept. 25, 1711.
I dined in the City to−day, and at my return I put my 30th into the post− office; and when I got home I found for me one of the noblest letters I ever read: it was from , three sides and a half in folio, on a large sheet of paper; the two first pages made up of satire upon London, and crowds and hurry, stolen from some of his own schoolboy’s exercises: the side and a half remaining is spent in desiring me to recommend Mrs. South, your Commissioner’s widow,[1] to my Lord Treasurer for a pension. He is the prettiest, discreetest fellow that ever my eyes beheld, or that ever dipped pen into ink. I know not what to say to him. A pox on him, I have too many such customers on this side already. I think I will send him word that I never saw my Lord Treasurer in my life: I am sure I industriously avoided the name of any great person when I saw him, for fear of his reporting it in Ireland. And this recommendation must be a secret too, for fear the Duke of Bolton[2] should know it, and think it was too mean. I never read so dd a letter in my life: a little would make me send it over to you.I must send you a pattern, the first place I cast my eyes on, I will not pick and choose. IN THIS
PLACE (meaning the Exchange in London), WHICH IS THE COMPENDIUM OF OLD TROYNOVANT, AS THAT IS OF THE WHOLE BUSY WORLD, I GOT SUCH A SURFEIT, THAT I GREW SICK OF
MANKIND, AND RESOLVED FOR EVER AFTER TO BURY MYSELF IN THE SHADY RETREAT OF
−. You must know that London has been called by some Troynovant, or New Troy. Will you have any more? Yes, one little bit for Stella, because she’ll be fond of it. This wondrous theatre (meaning London) was no more to me than a desert, and I should less complain of solitude in a Connaught shipwreck, or even the great bog of Allen. A little scrap for Mrs. Marget,[3] and then I have done. THEIR ROYAL FANUM, WHEREIN THE IDOL PECUNIA IS DAILY WORSHIPPED, SEEMED TO ME TO BE JUST LIKE A HIVE OF BEES WORKING AND LABOURING UNDER HUGE WEIGHTS OF CARES. Fanum is a temple, but he means the Exchange; and Pecunia is money: so now Mrs. Marget will understand her part. One more paragraph, and I Well, come, don’t be in such a rage, you shall have no more. Pray, Stella, be satisfied;
’tis very pretty: and that I must be acquainted with such a dog as this!Our peace goes on fast. Prior was with the Secretary two hours this morning: I was there a little after he went away, and was told it. I believe he will soon be despatched again to France; and I will put somebody to write an account of his second journey: I hope you have seen the other. This latter has taken up my time with storming at it.
26. Bernage has been with me these two days; yesterday I sent for him to let him know that Dr. Arbuthnot is putting in strongly to have his brother made a captain over Bernage’s[4] head. Arbuthnot’s brother is but an ensign, but the Doctor has great power with the Queen: yet he told me he would not do anything hard to a gentleman who is my friend; and I have engaged the Secretary and his Colonel[5] for him. To−day he told me very melancholy, that the other had written from Windsor (where he went to solicit) that he has got the company; and Bernage is full of the spleen. I made the Secretary write yesterday a letter to the Colonel in Bernage’s behalf. I hope it will do yet; and I have written to Dr. Arbuthnot to Windsor, not to insist on doing such a hardship. I dined in the City at Pontack’s, with Stratford; it cost me seven shillings: he would have treated, but I did not let him. I have removed my money from the Bank to another fund. I desire Parvisol may speak to Hawkshaw to pay in my money when he can, for I will put it in the funds; and, in the meantime, borrow so much of Mr. Secretary, who offers to lend it me. Go to the Dean’s, sirrahs.
27. Bernage was with me again to−day, and is in great fear, and so was I; but this afternoon, at Lord Treasurer’s, where I dined, my brother, George Granville, Secretary at War, after keeping me a while in suspense, told me that Dr. Arbuthnot had waived the business, because he would not wrong a friend of mine; that his brother is to be a lieutenant, and Bernage is made a captain. I called at his lodging, and the soldier’s coffee−house, to put him out of pain, but cannot find him; so I have left word, and shall see him to− morrow morning, I suppose. Bernage is now easy; he has ten shillings a day, beside lawful cheating. However, he gives a private sum to his Colonel, but it is very cheap: his Colonel loves him well, but is surprised to see him LETTER 31.
127
The Journal to Stella
have so many friends. So he is now quite off my hands. I left the company early to−night, at Lord Treasurer’s; but the Secretary followed me, to desire I would go with him to W. Mr. Lewis’s man came in before I could finish that word beginning with a W, which ought to be Windsor, and brought me a very handsome rallying letter from Dr. Arbuthnot, to tell me he had, in compliance to me, given up his brother’s pretensions in favour of Bernage, this very morning; that the Queen had spoken to Mr. Granville to make the company easy in the other’s having the captainship. Whether they have done it to oblige me or no, I must own it so. He says he this very morning begged Her Majesty to give Mr. Bernage the company. I am mighty well pleased to have succeeded so well; but you will think me tedious, although you like the man, as I think.
Windsor, 28. I came here a day sooner than ordinary, at Mr. Secretary’s desire, and supped with him and Prior, and two private Ministers from France, and a French priest.[6] I know not the two Ministers’ names; but they are come about the peace. The names the Secretary called them, I suppose, were feigned; they were good rational men. We have already settled all things with France, and very much to the honour and advantage of England; and the Queen is in mighty good humour. All this news is a mighty secret; the people in general know that a peace is forwarding. The Earl of Strafford[7] is to go soon to Holland, and let them know what we have been doing: and then there will be the devil and all to pay; but we’ll make them swallow it with a pox. The French Ministers stayed with us till one, and the Secretary and I sat up talking till two; so you will own ’tis late, sirrahs, and time for your little saucy Presto to go to bed and sleep adazy; and God bless poor little MD: I hope they are now fast asleep, and dreaming of Presto.
29. Lord Treasurer came to−night, as usual, at half an hour after eight, as dark as pitch. I am weary of chiding him; so I commended him for observing his friend’s advice, and coming so early, etc. I was two hours with Lady Oglethorpe[8] to−night, and then supped with Lord Treasurer, after dining at the Green Cloth: I stayed till two; this is the effect of Lord Treasurer’s being here; I must sup with him; and he keeps cursed hours.
Lord Keeper and the Secretary were absent; they cannot sit up with him. This long sitting up makes the periods in my letters so short. I design to stay here all the next week, to be at leisure by myself, to finish something of weight I have upon my hands, and which must soon be done. I shall then think of returning to Ireland, if these people will let me; and I know nothing else they have for me to do. I gave Dr. Arbuthnot my thanks for his kindness to Bernage, whose commission is now signed. Methinks I long to know something of Stella’s health, how it continues after Wexford waters.