7. I was this morning to give the Duke of Ormond notice of the honour done him to make him one of our Society, and to invite him on Thursday next to the Thatched House: he has accepted it with the gratitude and humility such a preferment deserves, but cannot come till the next meeting, because Prince Eugene is to dine with him that day, which I allowed for: a good excuse, and will report accordingly. I dined with Lord Masham, and sat there till eight this evening, and came home, because I was not very well, but a little griped; but now I am well again, I will not go, at least but very seldom, to Lord Masham’s suppers. Lord Treasurer is generally there, and that tempts me, but late sitting up does not agree with me: there’s the short and the long, and I won’t do it; so take your answer, dear little young women; and I have no more to say to you to−night, because of the Archbishop, for I am going to write a long letter to him, but not so politely as formerly: I won’t trust him.
8. Well, then, come, let us see this letter; if I must answer it, I must. What’s here now? yes, faith, I lamented my birthday[9] two days after, and that’s all: and you rhyme, Madam Stella; were those verses made upon my birthday? faith, when I read them, I had them running in my head all the day, and said them over a thousand times; they drank your health in all their glasses, and wished, etc. I could not get them out of my head. What?
no, I believe it was not; what do I say upon the eighth of December? Compare, and see whether I say so. I am glad of Mrs. Stoyte’s recovery, heartily glad; your Dolly Manley’s and Bishop of Cloyne’s[10] child I have no concern about: I am sorry in a civil way, that’s all. Yes, yes, Sir George St. George dead.[11]Go, cry, Madam Dingley; I have written to the Dean. Raymond will be rich, for he has the building itch. I wish all he has got may put him out of debt. Poh, I have fires like lightning; they cost me twelvepence a week, beside small coal. I have got four new caps, madam, very fine and convenient, with striped cambric, instead of muslin; so Patrick need not mend them, but take the old ones. Stella snatched Dingley’s word out of her pen; Presto a cold? Why, all the world here is dead with them: I never had anything like it in my life; ’tis not gone in five weeks. I hope Leigh is with you before this, and has brought your box. How do you like the ivory rasp? Stella is angry; but I’ll have a finer thing for her. Is not the apron as good? I’m sure I shall never be paid it; so all’s well again.What? the quarrel with Sir John Walter?[12] Why, we had not one word of quarrel; only he railed at me when I was gone: and Lord Keeper and Treasurer teased me for a week. It was nuts to them; a serious thing with a vengeance.The Whigs may sell their estates then, or hang themselves, as they are disposed; for a peace there will be. Lord Treasurer told me that Connolly[13] was going to Hanover. Your Provost[14] is a coxcomb. Stella is a good girl for not being angry when I tell her of spelling; I see none wrong in this. God Almighty be praised that your disorder lessens; it increases my hopes mightily that they will go off. And have you been plagued with the fear of the plague? never mind those reports; I have heard them five hundred times. Replevi? Replevin, simpleton, ’tis Dingley I mean; but it is a hard word, and so I’ll LETTER 38.
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excuse it. I stated Dingley’s accounts in my last. I forgot Catherine’s sevenpenny dinner. I hope it was the beef−steaks; I’ll call and eat them in spring; but Goody Stoyte must give me coffee, or green tea, for I drink no bohea. Well, ay, the pamphlet; but there are some additions to the fourth edition; the fifth edition was of four thousand, in a smaller print, sold for sixpence. Yes, I had the twenty−pound bill from Parvisol: and what then? Pray now eat the Laracor apples; I beg you not to keep them, but tell me what they are. You have had Tooke’s bill in my last. And so there now, your whole letter is answered. I tell you what I do; I lay your letter before me, and take it in order, and answer what is necessary; and so and so. Well, when I expected we were all undone, I designed to retire for six months, and then steal over to Laracor; and I had in my mouth a thousand times two lines of Shakespeare, where Cardinal Wolsey says,
“A weak old man, battered with storms of state,
Is come to lay his weary bones among you.”[15]
I beg your pardon; I have cheated you all this margin, I did not perceive it; and I went on wider and wider like Stella; awkward sluts; SHE WRITES SO SO, THERE:[16] that’s as like as two eggs a penny.”A weak old man,” now I am saying it, and shall till to−morrow.The Duke of Marlborough says there is nothing he now desires so much as to contrive some way how to soften Dr. Swift. He is mistaken; for those things that have been hardest against him were not written by me. Mr. Secretary told me this from a friend of the Duke’s; and I’m sure now he is down, I shall not trample on him; although I love him not, I dislike his being out.Bernage was to see me this morning, and gave some very indifferent excuses for not calling here so long. I care not twopence. Prince Eugene did not dine with the Duke of Marlborough on Sunday, but was last night at Lady Betty Germaine’s assemblee, and a vast number of ladies to see him. Mr. Lewis and I dined with a private friend. I was this morning to see the Duke of Ormond, who appointed me to meet him at the Cockpit at one, but never came. I sat too some time with the Duchess. We don’t like things very well yet. I am come home early, and going to be busy. I’ll go write.
9. I could not go sleep last night till past two, and was waked before three by a noise of people endeavouring to break open my window. For a while I would not stir, thinking it might be my imagination; but hearing the noise continued, I rose and went to the window, and then it ceased. I went to bed again, and heard it repeated more violently; then I rose and called up the house, and got a candle: the rogues had lifted up the sash a yard; there are great sheds before my windows, although my lodgings be a storey high; and if they get upon the sheds they are almost even with my window. We observed their track, and panes of glass fresh broken. The watchmen told us to−day they saw them, but could not catch them. They attacked others in the neighbourhood about the same time, and actually robbed a house in Suffolk Street, which is the next street but one to us. It is said they are seamen discharged from service. I went up to call my man, and found his bed empty; it seems he often lies abroad. I challenged him this morning as one of the robbers. He is a sad dog; and the minute I come to Ireland I will discard him. I have this day got double iron bars to every window in my dining−room and bed−chamber; and I hide my purse in my thread stocking between the bed’s head and the wainscot. Lewis and I dined with an old Scotch friend, who brought the Duke of Douglas[17] and three or four more Scots upon us.
10. This was our Society day, you know; but the Duke of Ormond could not be with us, because he dined with Prince Eugene. It cost me a guinea contribution to a poet, who had made a copy of verses upon monkeys, applying the story to the Duke of Marlborough; the rest gave two guineas, except the two physicians,[18] who followed my example. I don’t like this custom: the next time I will give nothing. I sat this evening at Lord Masham’s with Lord Treasurer: I don’t like his countenance; nor I don’t like the posture of things well.
We cannot be stout,
Till Somerset’s out:
as the old saying is.
LETTER 38.
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11. Mr. Lewis and I dined with the Chancellor of the Exchequer, who eats the most elegantly of any man I know in town. I walked lustily in the Park by moonshine till eight, to shake off my dinner and wine; and then went to sup at Mr. Domville’s with Ford, and stayed till twelve. It is told me to−day as a great secret that the Duke of Somerset will be out soon, that the thing is fixed; but what shall we do with the Duchess? They say the Duke will make her leave the Queen out of spite, if he be out. It has stuck upon that fear a good while already. Well, but Lewis gave me a letter from MD, N.25. O Lord, I did not expect one this fortnight, faith.