My own training kept going along fast, even though I was giving time and attention to Hauser. Not only my training in healing, but other training I hadn’t figured to do. I still aimed to leave during Four-Month, on the noon nearest the full moon, which on their calendar is always just before the middle of the month.
I felt more than ready, and Hauser seemed to have gone as far as he could. He’d even learned to keep himself warm from inside, and to start fire—way more than we’d ever expected of him. Arbel, though, figured that getting through was more a question of inborn talent than how far you’d taken it. Unless of course Vulkan did it for him. Me, I had faith in Vulkan’s magic; the training was just to help Hauser survive.
Something else happened that last week, too. Unknown to me, Arbel had been experimenting on keeping the body warm by tapping into the Web of the World, and had worked out a procedure that seemed safe, if done right. Anyway it worked for him. He told me about it on my last day, and wrote out all the steps. There wasn’t time to practice them under his supervision, but if I was careful, I could practice them alone on Farside. I gave them a quick look-over; they didn’t seem all that hard.
That was the evening before the gate was due to open. It was also the evening I told Hauser about Vulkan and what he’d promised, and that all the work we’d done was just in case. I’d wanted him to think it was all up to him. Now he was ready as he could get, and I wanted to ease his nerves.
* * *
Before I went to bed that night, I sat in front of the fire thinking about what might have been. About Melody. She’d died being what she’d always been: impetuous, reckless. She’d loved me strongly, and I’d loved her, but she was what she was; that’s how the world worked. And about Varia. It still seemed as if I’d come back to Yuulith someday, and it came to me that she and I weren’t done with one another yet. I shook it off. She was married to a high ylf lord, and they were happy together; had a kid, and they’d probably have more. As far as that’s concerned, he was probably a better husband for her anyway, really.
I thought about Omara, too: If I’d stayed, I could have been happy with her. There mightn’t ever have been any powerful love between us, but we’d have made up for that with respect and consideration, and good times in bed. But somehow, as much sense as it made, it wasn’t right for me. I needed to go back to Farside.
I ended up meditating a little to still my mind. Worked like a charm. When I lay down, I went right to sleep.
And woke up fresh and confident. Had breakfast and went for a ride on Hog. I’d miss Hog; we’d been through a lot together. He’d be Arbel’s now.
When Arbel’s sundial said it was time, Arbel went with us. So did Blue Wing. I’d thought about what I’d say if Blue Wing wanted to go through the gate with me. Not that I thought he would, but just in case. Even if it would take him, if crossing to Farside was anything like crossing to Yuulith, he’d arrive without a feather left. And if he got there okay, some sonofabitch would likely shoot him and get him stuffed.
But he never asked, just flew along sober as a judge. After two mild rainy days, the field of buckwheat we walked through was growing strong and thick, and green as you please. The sun was out, and the day as warm as any since the fall before. I could see by Hauser’s aura that he was confident, even though the dark circles under his eyes told me he hadn’t slept much. He could have—he knew how to still his mind now. Maybe he’d wanted to spend the night thinking and remembering, or maybe planning. As for me—I’d wait and see how things looked when I got there, likely help Dad for a while, then maybe go wandering. See more of my own world.