“Hey, thank you,” falsified Zaphod. “I’m touched, we’re touched that you thought of us. What are they?”
“Marvin, or at least what’s worth keeping.”
“So that’s where he got to!” Exclaimed Zaphod. “Where’s my coat?” His demand went unanswered and the horrified looks from around the table demanded an explanation. “I sent him to the Big Bang Burger Bar to get my coat which I left behind. Perhaps I should have given him the return fare.”
“Marvin is dead?” Whispered Trillian, tears brimming in her eyes. She only remembered the good times, or to be more accurate, the less than lousy times, when Marvin complimented her, or at least was inoffensive towards her.
“I think it would be fairer to say that Marvin has rusted.” Zaphod’s tact struck like nuclear missile in the bullseye of a dartboard. Trillian ran out of the room crying.
“I think you should keep hold of Marvin for the moment,” said Ford. Arthur stuck Marvin in his pocket.
CHAPTER 45
Death could be defined as that which when mentioned over dinner could cause one person to leave the room crying and for all bar one (Zaphod Beeblebrox) to be put off their magnificent meal. A very personalised definition, admittedly, but a very applicable one even though it is based on a situation with a major misunderstanding. Marvin did not die, although it was what he dearly wished. He ceased to function, which had the desired effect, albeit temporarily. It has been asked why, in addition to Marvin’s ability to switch off at any time and with the knowledge that by sticking his left arm in his right ear he could electrocute himself, Marvin never finished himself off a long time ago. Apart from the fact that his programming wouldn’t allow him, he would miss out on the opportunity to continue being wretched, which he did until his body could take it no longer.
There are those who feel that Marvin’s end was untimely and a bit of an anticlimax considering his eventful life full of narrow escapes, close shaves and apathetic encounters. His escape from the Disaster Area stunt ship has never been fully documented (though it can now be revealed that it wasn’t as exciting as expected) and will not be disclosed here to remain within the legal boundaries that exist for that section of society with a furtive imagination. Nor can we forget the lengthy tale of how Marvin eventually ended up minus one original leg on the planet Squornshellous Zeta. However, Marvin has ceased to exist as before and will stay that way, unless something really improbable happens.
It may please those who think that this is the very end of Marvin to know that it is indirectly through Marvin that Zaphod, Ford and Arthur, not to mention Trillian, Bolo and Fenchurch, are soon to be sent on their way to save the Universe.
CHAPTER 46
The scruffy mechanic idled around by the door. Eventually Zaphod opened it.
“I’ve brought your ship back, goes like a dream now,” said the mechanic, wiping his hands on his greasy overalls, achieving nothing.
“It was going like a dream beforehand, I was hoping for a little reality to creep back into it’s performance,” muttered Zaphod.
“Very good, sir.” The mechanic knew of Zaphod’s position and wasn’t going to jeopardise his by getting cocky. “We followed the service instructions down to the last detail. No unnecessary work done. We even changed the filters on the Nutri-Matic Drinks Synthesiser.
“Okay, okay. I had an estimate but let’s see how it differs from the present tense expense.”
“What?”
“Shee, the bill. You know, the paper with all the big numbers all over it?”
“Oh, yes, right.” The mechanic took out a sheet of paper, accidentally on purpose smudging his greasy fingers across the sundries column, which contained the tip for the waiter at an incredibly expensive restaurant he had taken his girlfriend and the Heart of Gold to on a test drive, the replacement solar tiling (the original tiling didn’t need replacing but the tiling on his star buggy did) and the money he lost playing Eddie the shipboard computer at electronic halma.
Zaphod signed his name twice against his Editor’s expense account number on the bill as the second signature would be worth a bit in years to come and was cheaper than a tip.