«I got a look at the way you two glanced at each other,» Miller said.
I finished my Hershey bar and got a beer to wash it down with.
«Tell you what I think,» Miller said. «We ought to get half a dozen people to wrap some of those mop handles with cloth and then tie them down with twine. Then I think we ought to get a couple of those cans of charcoal lighter fluid all ready. If we cut the tops right off the cans, we could have some torches pretty quick.»
I nodded. That was good. Almost surely not good enough-not if you had seen Norm dragged out-but it was better than salt.
«That would give them something to think about, at least,» Ollie said.
Miller’s lips pressed together. «That bad, huh?» He said.
«That bad,» Ollie agreed, and worked his beer.
By four-thirty that afternoon the sacks of fertilizer and lawn food were in place and the big windows were blocked off except for narrow loopholes. A watchman had been placed at each of these, and beside each watchman was a tin of charcoal lighter fluid with the top cut off and a supply of mop-handle torches. There were five loopholes, and Dan Miller had arranged a rotation of sentries for each one. When four-thirty came around, I was sitting on a pile of bags at one of the loopholes, Billy at my side. We were looking out into the mist.
Just beyond the window was a red bench where people sometimes waited for their rides with their groceries beside them. Beyond that was the parking lot. The mist swirled slowly, thick and heavy. There was moisture in it, but how dull it seemed, and gloomy just looking at it made me feel gutless and lost.
«Daddy, do you know what’s happening?» Billy asked.
«No, hon,» I said.
He fell silent for a bit, looking at his hands, which lay limply in the lap of his Tuffskin jeans. «Why doesn’t somebody come and rescue us?» he asked finally. «The State Police or the FBI or someone?»
«I don’t know.»
«Do you think Mom’s okay?»
«Billy, I just don’t know,» I said, and put an arm around him.
«I want her awful bad,» Billy said, struggling with tears. «I’m sorry about the times I was bad to her.»
«Billy,» I said, and had to stop. I could taste salt in my throat, and my voice wanted to tremble.
«Will it be over?» Billy asked. «Daddy? Will it?»
«I don’t know,» I said, and he put his face in the hollow of my shoulder and I held the back of his head, felt the delicate curve of his skull just under the thick growth of his hair. I found myself remembering the evening of my wedding day. Watching Steff take off the simple brown dress she had changed into after the ceremony. She had had a big purple bruise on one hip from running into the side of a door the day before. I remembered looking at the bruise and thinking, When she got that, she was still Stephanie Stepanek, and feeling something like wonder. Then we had made love, and outside it was spitting snow from a dull gray December sky.
Billy was crying.
«Shh, Billy, shh,» I said, rocking his head against me, but he went on crying. It was the sort of crying that only mothers know how to fix right.
Premature night came inside the Federal Foods. Miller and Haden and Bud Brown handed out flashlights, the whole stock, about twenty. Norton clamoured loudly for them on behalf of his group, and received two. The lights bobbed here and there in the aisles like uneasy phantoms.
I held Billy against me and looked out through the loophole. The milky, translucent quality of the light out there hadn’t changed much; it was putting up the bags that had made the market so dark. Several times I thought I saw something, but it was only jumpiness. One of the others raised a hesitant false alarm.
Billy saw Mrs. Turman again, and went to her eagerly, even though she hadn’t been over to sit for him all summer. She had one of the flashlights and handed it over to him amiably enough. Soon he was trying to write his name in light on the blank glass faces of the frozen-food cases. She seemed as happy to see him as he was to see her, and in a little while they came over. Hattie Turman was a tall, thin woman with lovely red hair just beginning to streak gray. A pair of glasses hung from an ornamental chain-the sort, I believe, it is illegal for anyone except middle-aged women to wear-on her breast.