Juryman looked up blearily, said, “‘Liminate him!”
“Very well? And you?”
“Well–” Next one hesitated. “Guess it would be enough just to beat tar out of him, so he’ll know better next time. Can’t have men pawing women, or place will get to be as bad as they say Terra is.”
“Sensible,” I agreed. “And you?”
Only one juror voted for elimination. Others ranged from a beating to very high fines.
“What do you think, Slim?”
“Well–” He was worried–face in front of gang, face in front of what might be his girl. But had cooled down and didn’t want chum eliminated. “We already worked him over. Maybe if he got down on hands and knees and kissed floor in front of Tish and said he was sorry?”
“Will you do that, Gospodin LaJoie?”
“If you so rule, your honor.”
“I don’t. Here’s my verdict. First that juryman–you!–you are fined fee paid you because you fell asleep while supposed to be judging. Grab him, boys, take it away from him and throw him out.”
They did, enthusiastically; made up a little for greater excitement they had thought of but really could not stomach. “Now, Gospodin LaJoie, you are fined fifty Hong Kong for not having common sense to learn local customs before stirring around. Ante up.”
I collected it. “Now you boys line up. You are fined five dollars apiece for not exercising good judgment in dealing with a person you knew was a stranger and not used to our ways. Stopping him from touching Tish, that’s fine. Rough him, that’s okay, too; he’ll learn faster. And could have tossed him out. But talking about eliminating for what was honest mistake–well, it’s out of proportion. Five bucks each. Ante up.
Slim gulped. “Judge . . . I don’t think we have that much left! At least I don’t.”
“I thought that might be. You have a week to pay or I post your names in Old Dome. Know where Bon Ton Beauté Shoppe is, near easement lock thirteen? My wife runs it; pay her. Court’s out. Slim, don’t go away. Nor you, Tish. Gospodin LaJoie, let’s take these young people up and buy them a cold drink and get better acquainted.”
Again his eyes filled with odd delight that reminded of Prof.
“A charming idea, Judge!”
“I’m no longer judge. It’s up a couple of ramps. . . so I suggest you offer Tish your arm.”
He bowed and said, “My lady? May I?” and crooked his elbow to her. Tish at once became very grown up. “Spasebo, Gospodin! I am pleased.”
Took them to expensive place, one where their wild clothes and excessive makeup looked out of place; they were edgy. But I tried to make them feel easy and Stuart LaJoie tried even harder and successfully. Got their addresses as well as names; Wyoh had one sequence which was concentrating on stilyagi. Presently they finished their coolers, stood up, thanked and left. LaJoie and I stayed on.
“Gospodin,” he said presently, “you used an odd word earlier–odd to me, I mean.”
“Call me ‘Mannie’ now that kids are gone. What word?”
“It was when you insisted that the, uh, young lady, Tish– that Tish must pay, too. ‘Tone-stapple,’ or something like it.”
“Oh, ‘tanstaafl.’ Means ~There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.’ And isn’t,” I added, pointing to a FREE LUNCH sign across room, “or these drinks would cost half as much. Was reminding her that anything free costs twice as much in long run or turns out worthless.”
“An interesting philosophy.”
“Not philosophy, fact. One way or other, what you get, you pay for.” I fanned air. “Was Earthside once and heard expression ‘Free as air.’ This air isn’t free, you pay for every breath.”
“Really? No one has asked me to pay to breathe.” He smiled. “Perhaps I should stop.”
“Can happen, you almost breathed vacuum tonight. But nobody asks you because you’ve paid. For you, is part of round-trip ticket; for me it’s a quarterly charge.” I started to tell how my family buys and sells air to community co-op, decided was too complicated. “But we both pay.”
LaJoie looked thoughtfully pleased. “Yes, I see the economic necessity. It’s simply new to me. Tell me, uh, Mannie–and I’m called ‘Stu’–was I really in danger of ‘breathing vacuum’?”
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