He played several more of the tapes from the clinic, but none of them fit into the pattern he was searching for. No. It wasn’t any patient at the clinic.
He looked over the office files again and a name caught his eye.
Skeet Gibson.
He put on the tape.
“‘Mornin’, Dockie. How do you like this bee-u-ti-ful day I cooked up for you?”
“You’re feeling good today.”
“If I was feelin’ any better, they’d have me locked up. Did you catch my show last night?”
“No. I’m sorry, I wasn’t able to.”
“I was only a smash. Jack Gould called me ‘the most lovable comedian in the world.’ An’ who am I to argue with a genius like Jack Gould? You shoulda heard that audience! They were applauding like it was going out of style. Do ya know what that proves?”
“That they can read ‘Applause’ cards?”
“You’re sharp, you devil, you. That’s what I like—a headshrinker with a sense of humor. The last one I had was a drag. Had a great big beard that really bugged me.”
“Why?”
“Because it was a lady!”
Loud laughter.
“Gotcha that time, didn’t I, old cock? Seriously, folks, one of the reasons I’m feelin’ so good is because I just pledged a million dollars—count ’em: one million bucks—to help the kids in Biafra.”
“No wonder you feel good.”
“You bet your sweet ass. That story hit the front pages all over the world.”
“Is that important?”
“What do you mean, ‘Is that important?’ How many guys pledge that kind of loot? You’ve gotta blow your own horn, Peter Pan. I’m glad I can afford to pledge the money.”
“You keep saying ‘pledge.’ Do you mean ‘give?’ “
“Pledge—give—what’s the difference? You pledge a million—give a few grand—an’ they kiss your ass… Did I tell you it’s my anniversary today?”
“No. Congratulations.”
“Thanks. Fifteen great years. You never met Sally. There’s the sweetest broad that ever walked God’s earth. I really got lucky with my marriage. You know what a pain in the keester in-laws can be? Well, Sally’s got these two brothers, Ben an’ Charley. I told you about them. Ben’s head writer on my TV show an’ Charley’s my producer. They’re geniuses. I’ve been on the air seven years now. An’ we’re never outta the top ten in the Nielsen’s. I was smart to marry into a family like that, huh? Most women get fat an’ sloppy once they’ve hooked their husband. But Sally, bless her, is slimmer now than the day we were married. What a dame!…Got a cigarette?”
“Here. I thought you quit smoking.”
“I just wanted to show myself I had the old willpower, so I quit. Now I’m smoking because I want to… I made a new deal with the network yesterday. I really shafted ’em. Is my time up yet?”
“No. Are you restless, Skeet?”
“To tell you the truth, sweetie, I’m in such great shape I don’t know what the hell I’m coming in here any more for.”
“No more problems?”
“Me? The world’s my oyster an’ I’m Diamond Jim Brady. I’ve gotta hand it to you. You’ve really helped me. You’re my man. With the kind of money you make, maybe I should go into business and set up my own shingle, huh?…That reminds me of the great story of the guy who goes to a wig-picker, but he’s so nervous he just lays on the couch and doesn’t say anything. At the end of the hour, the shrink says, ‘That’ll be fifty dollars.’ Well, that goes on for two whole years without the schmuck saying one word. Finally the little guy opens his mouth one day and says, ‘Doctor—could I ask you a question?’ ‘Sure,’ says the Doc. And the little guy says, ‘Would you like a partner?’ “
Loud laughter.
“You got a shot of aspirin or somethin’?”
“Certainly. Is it one of your bad headaches?”
“Nothin’ I can’t handle, old buddy… Thanks. That’ll do the trick.”
“What do you think brings these headaches on?”
“Just normal show-biz tension… We have our script reading this afternoon.”
“Does that make you nervous?”
“Me? Hell, no! What have I got to be nervous about? If the jokes are lousy, I make a face, wink at the audience, an’ they eat it up. No matter how bad the show is, little old Skeet comes out smelling like a rose.”