The Secret Agent by Joseph Conrad

men whose flesh is grass; modest, like the life of violets. The

words used by Mr Verloc were: “Lie low for a bit.” And far from

England, of course. It was not clear whether Mr Verloc had in his

mind Spain or South America; but at any rate somewhere abroad.

This last word, falling into Mrs Verloc’s ear, produced a definite

impression. This man was talking of going abroad. The impression

was completely disconnected; and such is the force of mental habit

that Mrs Verloc at once and automatically asked herself: “And what

of Stevie?”

It was a sort of forgetfulness; but instantly she became aware that

there was no longer any occasion for anxiety on that score. There

would never be any occasion any more. The poor boy had been taken

out and killed. The poor boy was dead.

This shaking piece of forgetfulness stimulated Mrs Verloc’s

intelligence. She began to perceive certain consequences which

would have surprised Mr Verloc. There was no need for her now to

stay there, in that kitchen, in that house, with that man – since

the boy was gone for ever. No need whatever. And on that Mrs

Verloc rose as if raised by a spring. But neither could she see

what there was to keep her in the world at all. And this inability

arrested her. Mr Verloc watched her with marital solicitude.

“You’re looking more like yourself,” he said uneasily. Something

peculiar in the blackness of his wife’s eyes disturbed his

optimism. At that precise moment Mrs Verloc began to look upon

herself as released from all earthly ties.

She had her freedom. Her contract with existence, as represented

by that man standing over there, was at an end. She was a free

woman. Had this view become in some way perceptible to Mr Verloc

he would have been extremely shocked. In his affairs of the heart

Mr Verloc had been always carelessly generous, yet always with no

other idea than that of being loved for himself. Upon this matter,

his ethical notions being in agreement with his vanity, he was

completely incorrigible. That this should be so in the case of his

virtuous and legal connection he was perfectly certain. He had

grown older, fatter, heavier, in the belief that he lacked no

fascination for being loved for his own sake. When he saw Mrs

Verloc starting to walk out of the kitchen without a word he was

disappointed.

“Where are you going to?” he called out rather sharply.

“Upstairs?”

Mrs Verloc in the doorway turned at the voice. An instinct of

prudence born of fear, the excessive fear of being approached and

touched by that man, induced her to nod at him slightly (from the

height of two steps), with a stir of the lips which the conjugal

optimism of Mr Verloc took for a wan and uncertain smile.

“That’s right,” he encouraged her gruffly. “Rest and quiet’s what

you want. Go on. It won’t be long before I am with you.”

Mrs Verloc, the free woman who had had really no idea where she was

going to, obeyed the suggestion with rigid steadiness.

Mr Verloc watched her. She disappeared up the stairs. He was

disappointed. There was that within him which would have been more

satisfied if she had been moved to throw herself upon his breast.

But he was generous and indulgent. Winnie was always

undemonstrative and silent. Neither was Mr Verloc himself prodigal

of endearments and words as a rule. But this was not an ordinary

evening. It was an occasion when a man wants to be fortified and

strengthened by open proofs of sympathy and affection. Mr Verloc

sighed, and put out the gas in the kitchen. Mr Verloc’s sympathy

with his wife was genuine and intense. It almost brought tears

into his eyes as he stood in the parlour reflecting on the

loneliness hanging over her head. In this mood Mr Verloc missed

Stevie very much out of a difficult world. He thought mournfully

of his end. If only that lad had not stupidly destroyed himself!

The sensation of unappeasable hunger, not unknown after the strain

of a hazardous enterprise to adventurers of tougher fibre than Mr

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