The Stolen White Elephant by Mark Twain

observed–secrecy profound and absolute. Speak to no one about the

matter, not even the reporters. I will take care of them; I will see

that they get only what it may suit my ends to let them know.” He

touched a bell; a youth appeared. “Alaric, tell the reporters to remain

for the present.” The boy retired. “Now let us proceed to business–and

systematically. Nothing can be accomplished in this trade of mine

without strict and minute method.”

He took a pen and some paper. “Now–name of the elephant?”

“Hassan Ben Ali Ben Selim Abdallah Mohammed Moist Alhammal

Jamsetjejeebhoy Dhuleep Sultan Ebu Bhudpoor.”

“Very well. Given name?”

“Jumbo.”

“Very well. Place of birth?”

“The capital city of Siam.”

“Parents living?”

“No–dead.”

“Had they any other issue besides this one?”

“None. He was an only child.”

“Very well. These matters are sufficient under that head. Now please

describe the elephant, and leave out no particular, however

insignificant–that is, insignificant from your point of view. To me in

my profession there are no insignificant particulars; they do not exist.”

I described he wrote. When I was done, he said:

“Now listen. If I have made any mistakes, correct me.”

He read as follows:

“Height, 19 feet; length from apex of forehead insertion of tail, 26

feet; length of trunk, 16 feet; length of tail, 6 feet; total length,

including trunk, and tail, 48 feet; length of tusks, 9 « feet; ears

keeping with these dimensions; footprint resembles the mark left when one

up-ends a barrel in the snow; the color of the elephant, a dull white;

has a hole the size of a plate in each ear for the insertion of jewelry

and possesses the habit in a remarkable degree of squirting water upon

spectators and of maltreating with his trunk not only such persons as he

is acquainted with, but even entire strangers; limps slightly with his

right hind leg, and has a small scar in his left armpit caused by a

former boil; had on, when stolen, a castle containing seats for fifteen

persons, and a gold-cloth saddle-blanket the size of an ordinary carpet.”

There were no mistakes. The inspector touched the bell, handed the

description to Alaric, and said:

“Have fifty thousand copies of this printed at once and mailed to every

detective office and pawnbroker’s shop on the continent.” Alaric

retired. “There–so far, so good. Next, I must have a photograph of the

property.”

I gave him one. He examined it critically, and said:

“It must do, since we can do no better; but he has his trunk curled up

and tucked into his mouth. That is unfortunate, and is calculated to

mislead, for of course he does not usually have it in that position.”

He touched his bell.

“Alaric, have fifty thousand copies of this photograph made the first

thing in the morning, and mail them with the descriptive circulars.”

Alaric retired to execute his orders. The inspector said:

“It will be necessary to offer a reward, of course. Now as to the

amount?”

“What sum would you suggest?”

“To begin with, I should say–well, twenty-five thousand dollars. It is

an intricate and difficult business; there are a thousand avenues of

escape and opportunities of concealment. These thieves have friends and

pals everywhere–”

“Bless me, do you know who they are?”

The wary face, practised in concealing the thoughts and feelings within,

gave me no token, nor yet the replying words, so quietly uttered:

“Never mind about that. I may, and I may not. We generally gather a

pretty shrewd inkling of who our man is by the manner of his work and the

size of the game he goes after. We are not dealing with a pickpocket or

a hall thief now, make up your mind to that. This property was not

‘lifted’ by a novice. But, as I was saying, considering the amount of

travel which will have to be done, and the diligence with which the

thieves will cover up their traces as they move along, twenty-five

thousand may be too small a sum to offer, yet I think it worth while to

start with that.”

So we determined upon that figure as a beginning. Then this man, whom

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