The Stolen White Elephant by Mark Twain

nothing escaped which could by any possibility be made to serve as a

clue, said:

“There are cases in detective history to show that criminals have been

detected through peculiarities, in their appetites. Now, what does this

elephant eat, and how much?”

“Well, as to what he eats–he will eat anything. He will eat a man, he

will eat a Bible–he will eat anything between a man and a Bible.”

“Good very good, indeed, but too general. Details are necessary–details

are the only valuable things in our trade. Very well–as to men. At one

meal–or, if you prefer, during one day–how man men will he eat, if

fresh?”

“He would not care whether they were fresh or not; at a single meal he

would eat five ordinary men.

“Very good; five men; we will put that down. What nationalities would he

prefer?”

“He is indifferent about nationalities. He prefers acquaintances, but is

not prejudiced against strangers.”

“Very good. Now, as to Bibles. How many Bibles would he eat at a meal?”

“He would eat an entire edition.”

“It is hardly succinct enough. Do you mean the ordinary octavo, or the

family illustrated?”

“I think he would be indifferent to illustrations that is, I think he

would not value illustrations above simple letterpress.”

“No, you do not get my idea. I refer to bulk. The ordinary octavo Bible

weighs about two pound; and a half, while the great quarto with the

illustrations weighs ten or twelve. How many Dore Bibles would he eat at

a meal?”

“If you knew this elephant, you could not ask. He would take what they

had.”

“Well, put it in dollars and cents, then. We must get at it somehow.

The Dore costs a hundred dollars a copy, Russia leather, beveled.”

“He would require about fifty thousand dollars worth–say an edition of

five hundred copies.”

“Now that is more exact. I will put that down. Very well; he likes men

and Bibles; so far, so good. What else will he eat? I want

particulars.”

“He will leave Bibles to eat bricks, he will leave bricks to eat bottles,

he will leave bottles to eat clothing, he will leave clothing to eat

cats, he will leave cats to eat oysters, he will leave oysters to eat

ham, he will leave ham to eat sugar, he will leave sugar to eat pie, he

will leave pie to eat potatoes, he will leave potatoes to eat bran; he

will leave bran to eat hay, he will leave hay to eat oats, he will leave

oats to eat rice, for he was mainly raised on it. There is nothing

whatever that he will not eat but European butter, and he would eat that

if he could taste it.”

“Very good. General quantity at a meal–say about–”

“Well, anywhere from a quarter to half a ton.”

“And he drinks–”

“Everything that is fluid. Milk, water, whisky, molasses, castor oil,

camphene, carbolic acid–it is no use to go into particulars; whatever

fluid occurs to you set it down. He will drink anything that is fluid,

except European coffee.”

“Very good. As to quantity?”

“Put it down five to fifteen barrels–his thirst varies; his other

appetites do not.”

“These things are unusual. They ought to furnish quite good clues toward

tracing him.”

He touched the bell.

“Alaric; summon Captain Burns.”

Burns appeared. Inspector Blunt unfolded the whole matter to him, detail

by detail. Then he said in the clear, decisive tones of a man whose

plans are clearly defined in his head and who is accustomed to command:

“Captain Burns, detail Detectives Jones, Davis, Halsey, Bates, and

Hackett to shadow the elephant.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Detail Detectives Moses, Dakin, Murphy, Rogers, Tupper, Higgins, and

Bartholomew to shadow the thieves.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Place a strong guard–A guard of thirty picked men, with a relief of

thirty–over the place from whence the elephant was stolen, to keep

strict watch there night and day, and allow none to approach–except

reporters–without written authority from me.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Place detectives in plain clothes in the railway; steamship, and ferry

depots, and upon all roadways leading out of Jersey City, with orders to

search all suspicious persons.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Furnish all these men with photograph and accompanying description of

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *