The Stolen White Elephant by Mark Twain

the elephant, and instruct them to search all trains and outgoing

ferryboats and other vessels.”

“Yes, sir.”

“If the elephant should be found, let him be seized, and the information

forwarded to me by telegraph.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Let me be informed at once if any clues should be found footprints of

the animal, or anything of that kind.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Get an order commanding the harbor police to patrol the frontages

vigilantly.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Despatch detectives in plain clothes over all the railways, north as far

as Canada, west as far as Ohio, south as far as Washington.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Place experts in all the telegraph offices to listen in to all messages;

and let them require that all cipher despatches be interpreted to them.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Let all these things be done with the utmost’s secrecy–mind, the most

impenetrable secrecy.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Report to me promptly at the usual hour.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Go!”

“Yes, sir.”

He was gone.

Inspector Blunt was silent and thoughtful a moment, while the fire in his

eye cooled down and faded out. Then he turned to me and said in a placid

voice:

“I am not given to boasting, it is not my habit; but–we shall find the

elephant.”

I shook him warmly by the hand and thanked him; and I felt my thanks,

too. The more I had seen of the man the more I liked him and the more I

admired him and marveled over the mysterious wonders of his profession.

Then we parted for the night, and I went home with a far happier heart

than I had carried with me to his office.

II

Next morning it was all in the newspapers, in the minutest detail. It

even had additions–consisting of Detective This, Detective That, and

Detective The Other’s “Theory” as to how the robbery was done, who the

robbers were, and whither they had flown with their booty. There were

eleven of these theories, and they covered all the possibilities; and

this single fact shows what independent thinkers detectives are. No two

theories were alike, or even much resembled each other, save in one

striking particular, and in that one all the other eleven theories were

absolutely agreed. That was, that although the rear of my building was

torn out and the only door remained locked, the elephant had not been

removed through the rent, but by some other (undiscovered) outlet.

All agreed that the robbers had made that rent only to mislead the

detectives. That never would have occurred to me or to any other layman,

perhaps, but it had not deceived the detectives for a moment. Thus, what

I had supposed was the only thing that had no mystery about it was in

fact the very thing I had gone furthest astray in. The eleven theories

all named the supposed robbers, but no two named the same robbers; the

total number of suspected persons was thirty-seven. The various

newspaper accounts all closed with the most important opinion of all–

that of Chief Inspector Blunt. A portion of this statement read as

follows:

The chief knows who the two principals are, namely,” Brick” Daffy

and “Red” McFadden. Ten days before the robbery was achieved he was

already aware that it was to be attempted, and had quietly proceeded

to shadow these two noted villains; but unfortunately on the night

in question their track was lost, and before it could be found again

the bird was flown–that is, the elephant.

Daffy and McFadden are the boldest scoundrels in the profession; the

chief has reasons for believing that they are the men who stole the

stove out of the detective headquarters on a bitter night last

winter–in consequence of which the chief and every detective

present were in the hands of the physicians before morning, some

with frozen feet, others with frozen fingers, ears, and other

members.

When I read the first half of that I was more astonished than ever at the

wonderful sagacity of this strange man. He not only saw everything in

the present with a clear eye, but even the future could not be hidden

from him. I was soon at his office, and said I could not help wishing he

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