The Stolen White Elephant by Mark Twain

they are holes where he dug up saplings for shade-trees when ground

was frozen last winter. Give me orders how to proceed.

DARLEY, Detective.

“Aha! a confederate of the thieves! The thing, grows warm,” said the

inspector.

He dictated the following telegram to Darley:

Arrest the man and force him to name his pals. Continue to follow

the tracks to the Pacific, if necessary.

Chief BLUNT.

Next telegram:

CONEY POINT, PA., 8.45 A.M.

Gas office broken open here during night and three month; unpaid gas

bills taken. Have got a clue and am away.

MURPHY, Detective.

“Heavens!” said the inspector; “would he eat gas bills?”

“Through ignorance–yes; but they cannot support life. At least,

unassisted.”

Now came this exciting telegram:

IRONVILLE, N. Y., 9.30 A.M.

Just arrived. This village in consternation. Elephant passed

through here at five this morning. Some say he went east some say

west, some north, some south–but all say they did not wait to

notice, particularly. He killed a horse; have secure a piece of it

for a clue. Killed it with his trunk; from style of blow, think he

struck it left-handed. From position in which horse lies, think

elephant traveled northward along line Berkley Railway. Has four

and a half hours’ start, but I move on his track at once.

HAWES, Detective

I uttered exclamations of joy. The inspector was as self-contained as a

graven image. He calmly touched his bell.

“Alaric, send Captain Burns here.”

Burns appeared.

“How many men are ready for instant orders?”

“Ninety-six, sir.”

“Send them north at once. Let them concentrate along the line of the

Berkley road north of Ironville.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Let them conduct their movements with the utmost secrecy. As fast as

others are at liberty, hold them for orders.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Go!”

“Yes, sir.”

Presently came another telegram:

SAGE CORNERS, N. Y., 10.30.

Just arrived. Elephant passed through here at 8.15. All escaped

from the town but a policeman. Apparently elephant did not strike

at policeman, but at the lamp-post. Got both. I have secured a

portion of the policeman as clue.

STUMM, Detective.

“So the elephant has turned westward,” said the inspector. “However, he

will not escape, for my men are scattered all over that region.”

The next telegram said:

GLOVER’S, 11.15

Just arrived. Village deserted, except sick and aged. Elephant passed

through three-quarters of an hour ago. The anti-temperance mass-meeting

was in session; he put his trunk in at a window and washed it out with

water from cistern. Some swallowed it–since dead; several drowned.

Detectives Cross and O’Shaughnessy were passing through town, but going

south–so missed elephant. Whole region for many miles around in terror-

-people flying from their homes. Wherever they turn they meet elephant,

and many are killed.

BRANT, Detective.

I could have shed tears, this havoc so distressed me. But the inspector

only said:

“You see–we are closing in on him. He feels our presence; he has turned

eastward again.”

Yet further troublous news was in store for us. The telegraph brought

this:

HOGANSPORT, 12.19.

Just arrived. Elephant passed through half an hour ago, creating

wildest fright and excitement. Elephant raged around streets; two

plumbers going by, killed one–other escaped. Regret general.

O’FLAHERTY, Detective.

“Now he is right in the midst of my men,” said the inspector. “Nothing

can save him.”

A succession of telegrams came from detectives who were scattered through

New Jersey and Pennsylvania, and who were following clues consisting of

ravaged barns, factories, and Sunday-school libraries, with high

hopes-hopes amounting to certainties, indeed. The inspector said:

“I wish I could communicate with them and order them north, but that is

impossible. A detective only visits a telegraph office to send his

report; then he is off again, and you don’t know where to put your hand

on him.”

Now came this despatch:

BRIDGEPORT, CT., 12.15.

Barnum offers rate of $4,000 a year for exclusive privilege of using

elephant as traveling advertising medium from now till detectives

find him. Wants to paste circus-posters on him. Desires immediate

answer.

BOGGS, Detective.

“That is perfectly absurd!” I exclaimed.

“Of course it is,” said the inspector. “Evidently Mr. Barnum, who thinks

he is so sharp, does not know me–but I know him.”

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