‘Kevin. I do not understand what you are implying. Dr Delgado is a champion of Canal conservation. If you are not aware of this, it is because Ernesto is too courteous and modest to tell you. You, on the other hand, are here in Panama with the sole intention of making money out of the Canal, a purpose for which it was not designed. The only way to make money out of the Canal is ruin it.’ Her voice began sliding as she counted off the crimes that Kevin was contemplating. ‘By cutting down the forests, Kevin. By depriving it of fresh water. By failing to maintain its structure and machinery to the standards required by our forefathers.’ Her voice became harsh and nasal. She could hear it but not stop it. ‘And so, Kevin, if you truly feel impelled to make money by selling off the achievements of great North Americans, I suggest you go right back to San Francisco where you came from and sell the Golden Gate to the Japs. And Rafi, if you don’t take your hand off my thigh I’m going to stick a fork in your knuckles.’
At which everybody seemed to decide they really ought to be getting back – to the ailing child, to the babysitter, to the dog, to whatever they had that was a safe distance from where they were right now.
But what does Harry do when he has soothed his guests, escorted them to their cars and waved goodbye to them from the doorstep? Deliver a Statement to the Board.
‘It’s expansion, Lou’ – patting her back while he hugs her – ‘that’s all it is. Massaging the customers’ – dabbing away her tears with his Irish linen handkerchief – ‘It’s expand or die, Lou, is what it is these days. Look what happened to dear old Arthur Braithwaite. First his business went, then he did. You wouldn’t want that to happen to me, would you? So we expand. We open the Club. We socialise. We put ourselves about, because it’s got to be. Eh, Lou? Right?’
But by now his patronising attentions have hardened her and she pulls free of him.
‘Harry, there are other ways of dying. I wish you to think about your family. I know of too many cases, and so do you, where men of forty have suffered heart attacks and other stress-related maladies. If your shop is not expanding I’m surprised since I recall a lot of stories recently of increased sales and output. But if you are truly worried about the future and not just using it as a pretext, we have the rice farm to fall back on and we would surely all prefer to live in reduced circumstances practising Christian abstinence than try to keep pace with your rich, immoral friends and have you die on us.’
At which Pendel grasps her to him in a fiery bearhug and promises to be home really early tomorrow – maybe take the kids to the funfair, do a movie. And Louisa cries and says, oh yes, let’s do it, Harry! Really let’s. But they don’t. Because when tomorrow comes he remembers the reception for the Brazilian Trade Delegation – lot of important players, Lou – why don’t we do it tomorrow instead? And when that tomorrow comes, I’m a liar, Lou, there’s this dinner club I’ve gone and got myself elected to. They’re throwing a jamboree for some heavy-hitters down from Mexico and did I see you had the new Spillway on your desk?
Spillway being the Canal newsletter.
And on Monday came the usual weekly phone call from Naomi. Louisa could tell at once from Naomi’s voice that she had momentous news. She wondered what it was going to be this time. Guess who Pepe Kleeber took on his business trip to Houston last week, perhaps. Or, have you heard about Jaqui Lopez and her riding instructor? Or, who do you think Dolores Rodriguez goes to visit with when she tells her husband she’s comforting her mother after her bypass operation? But this time Naomi didn’t come on with any of that stuff, which was as well, because Louisa was of a mind to hang up if she did. Naomi just needed to catch up with all the lovely Pendels, and how was Mark making out with his exam work, and was it true Harry was buying Hannah her first pony? It was? Louisa, Harry is just the most generous man on earth, my wicked husband should take lessons from him! Not until, between them, they had painted a treacly picture of the entire deliriously happy Pendel family did Louisa realise that Naomi was commiserating with her: