master Vincentio! now we are undone and brought to nothing.
VINCENTIO [Seeing BIONDELLO]
Come hither, crack-hemp.
BIONDELLO Hope I may choose, sir.
VINCENTIO Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?
BIONDELLO Forgot you! no, sir: I could not forget you, for I
never saw you before in all my life.
VINCENTIO What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see
thy master’s father, Vincentio?
BIONDELLO What, my old worshipful old master? yes, marry, sir:
see where he looks out of the window.
VINCENTIO Is’t so, indeed.
Beats BIONDELLO
BIONDELLO Help, help, help! here’s a madman will murder me.
Exit
Pedant Help, son! help, Signior Baptista!
Exit from above
PETRUCHIO Prithee, Kate, let’s stand aside and see the end of
this controversy.
They retire
Re-enter Pedant below; TRANIO, BAPTISTA, and Servants
TRANIO Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?
VINCENTIO What am I, sir! nay, what are you, sir? O immortal
gods! O fine villain! A silken doublet! a velvet
hose! a scarlet cloak! and a copatain hat! O, I
am undone! I am undone! while I play the good
husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at
the university.
TRANIO How now! what’s the matter?
BAPTISTA What, is the man lunatic?
TRANIO Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your
habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir,
what ‘cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I
thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.
VINCENTIO Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.
BAPTISTA You mistake, sir, you mistake, sir. Pray, what do
you think is his name?
VINCENTIO His name! as if I knew not his name: I have brought
him up ever since he was three years old, and his
name is Tranio.
Pedant Away, away, mad ass! his name is Lucentio and he is
mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vincentio.
VINCENTIO Lucentio! O, he hath murdered his master! Lay hold
on him, I charge you, in the duke’s name. O, my
son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son Lucentio?
TRANIO Call forth an officer.
Enter one with an Officer
Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista,
I charge you see that he be forthcoming.
VINCENTIO Carry me to the gaol!
GREMIO Stay, officer: he shall not go to prison.
BAPTISTA Talk not, Signior Gremio: I say he shall go to prison.
GREMIO Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be
cony-catched in this business: I dare swear this
is the right Vincentio.
Pedant Swear, if thou darest.
GREMIO Nay, I dare not swear it.
TRANIO Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.
GREMIO Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.
BAPTISTA Away with the dotard! to the gaol with him!
VINCENTIO Thus strangers may be hailed and abused: O
monstrous villain!
Re-enter BIONDELLO, with LUCENTIO and BIANCA
BIONDELLO O! we are spoiled and–yonder he is: deny him,
forswear him, or else we are all undone.
LUCENTIO [Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.
VINCENTIO Lives my sweet son?
Exeunt BIONDELLO, TRANIO, and Pedant, as fast as may be
BIANCA Pardon, dear father.
BAPTISTA How hast thou offended?
Where is Lucentio?
LUCENTIO Here’s Lucentio,
Right son to the right Vincentio;
That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,
While counterfeit supposes bleared thine eyne.
GREMIO Here’s packing, with a witness to deceive us all!
VINCENTIO Where is that damned villain Tranio,
That faced and braved me in this matter so?
BAPTISTA Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?
BIANCA Cambio is changed into Lucentio.
LUCENTIO Love wrought these miracles. Bianca’s love
Made me exchange my state with Tranio,
While he did bear my countenance in the town;
And happily I have arrived at the last
Unto the wished haven of my bliss.
What Tranio did, myself enforced him to;
Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.
VINCENTIO I’ll slit the villain’s nose, that would have sent
me to the gaol.
BAPTISTA But do you hear, sir? have you married my daughter
without asking my good will?
VINCENTIO Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to: but
I will in, to be revenged for this villany.
Exit
BAPTISTA And I, to sound the depth of this knavery.
Exit
LUCENTIO Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.
Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA
GREMIO My cake is dough; but I’ll in among the rest,
Out of hope of all, but my share of the feast.
Exit
KATHARINA Husband, let’s follow, to see the end of this ado.
PETRUCHIO First kiss me, Kate, and we will.
KATHARINA What, in the midst of the street?
PETRUCHIO What, art thou ashamed of me?
KATHARINA No, sir, God forbid; but ashamed to kiss.
PETRUCHIO Why, then let’s home again. Come, sirrah, let’s away.
KATHARINA Nay, I will give thee a kiss: now pray thee, love, stay.
PETRUCHIO Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate:
Better once than never, for never too late.
Exeunt
Scene 2
Padua. LUCENTIO’S house.
Enter BAPTISTA, VINCENTIO, GREMIO, the Pedant, LUCENTIO, BIANCA, PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, HORTENSIO, and Widow, TRANIO, BIONDELLO, and GRUMIO the Serving-men with Tranio bringing in a banquet
LUCENTIO At last, though long, our jarring notes agree:
And time it is, when raging war is done,
To smile at scapes and perils overblown.
My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,
While I with self-same kindness welcome thine.
Brother Petruchio, sister Katharina,
And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,
Feast with the best, and welcome to my house:
My banquet is to close our stomachs up,
After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down;
For now we sit to chat as well as eat.
PETRUCHIO Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!
BAPTISTA Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.
PETRUCHIO Padua affords nothing but what is kind.
HORTENSIO For both our sakes, I would that word were true.
PETRUCHIO Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.
Widow Then never trust me, if I be afeard.
PETRUCHIO You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense:
I mean, Hortensio is afeard of you.
Widow He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.
PETRUCHIO Roundly replied.
KATHARINA Mistress, how mean you that?
Widow Thus I conceive by him.
PETRUCHIO Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?
HORTENSIO My widow says, thus she conceives her tale.
PETRUCHIO Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.
KATHARINA ‘He that is giddy thinks the world turns round:’
I pray you, tell me what you meant by that.
Widow Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,
Measures my husband’s sorrow by his woe:
And now you know my meaning,
KATHARINA A very mean meaning.
Widow Right, I mean you.
KATHARINA And I am mean indeed, respecting you.
PETRUCHIO To her, Kate!
HORTENSIO To her, widow!
PETRUCHIO A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.
HORTENSIO That’s my office.
PETRUCHIO Spoke like an officer; ha’ to thee, lad!
Drinks to HORTENSIO
BAPTISTA How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?
GREMIO Believe me, sir, they butt together well.
BIANCA Head, and butt! an hasty-witted body
Would say your head and butt were head and horn.
VINCENTIO Ay, mistress bride, hath that awaken’d you?
BIANCA Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I’ll sleep again.
PETRUCHIO Nay, that you shall not: since you have begun,
Have at you for a bitter jest or two!
BIANCA Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush;
And then pursue me as you draw your bow.
You are welcome all.
Exeunt BIANCA, KATHARINA, and Widow
PETRUCHIO She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio.
This bird you aim’d at, though you hit her not;
Therefore a health to all that shot and miss’d.
TRANIO O, sir, Lucentio slipp’d me like his greyhound,
Which runs himself and catches for his master.
PETRUCHIO A good swift simile, but something currish.
TRANIO ‘Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself:
‘Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.
BAPTISTA O ho, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.
LUCENTIO I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.
HORTENSIO Confess, confess, hath he not hit you here?
PETRUCHIO A’ has a little gall’d me, I confess;
And, as the jest did glance away from me,
‘Tis ten to one it maim’d you two outright.
BAPTISTA Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio,
I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.
PETRUCHIO Well, I say no: and therefore for assurance
Let’s each one send unto his wife;
And he whose wife is most obedient
To come at first when he doth send for her,
Shall win the wager which we will propose.
HORTENSIO Content. What is the wager?
LUCENTIO Twenty crowns.
PETRUCHIO Twenty crowns!
I’ll venture so much of my hawk or hound,
But twenty times so much upon my wife.
LUCENTIO A hundred then.
HORTENSIO Content.
PETRUCHIO A match! ’tis done.
HORTENSIO Who shall begin?
LUCENTIO That will I.