Hath all so long detain’d you from your wife,
And sent you hither so unlike yourself?
PETRUCHIO Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear:
Sufficeth I am come to keep my word,
Though in some part enforced to digress;
Which, at more leisure, I will so excuse
As you shall well be satisfied withal.
But where is Kate? I stay too long from her:
The morning wears, ’tis time we were at church.
TRANIO See not your bride in these unreverent robes:
Go to my chamber; Put on clothes of mine.
PETRUCHIO Not I, believe me: thus I’ll visit her.
BAPTISTA But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.
PETRUCHIO Good sooth, even thus; therefore ha’ done with words:
To me she’s married, not unto my clothes:
Could I repair what she will wear in me,
As I can change these poor accoutrements,
‘Twere well for Kate and better for myself.
But what a fool am I to chat with you,
When I should bid good morrow to my bride,
And seal the title with a lovely kiss!
Exeunt PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO
TRANIO He hath some meaning in his mad attire:
We will persuade him, be it possible,
To put on better ere he go to church.
BAPTISTA I’ll after him, and see the event of this.
Exeunt BAPTISTA, GREMIO, and attendants
TRANIO But to her love concerneth us to add
Her father’s liking: which to bring to pass,
As I before unparted to your worship,
I am to get a man,–whate’er he be,
It skills not much. we’ll fit him to our turn,–
And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa;
And make assurance here in Padua
Of greater sums than I have promised.
So shall you quietly enjoy your hope,
And marry sweet Bianca with consent.
LUCENTIO Were it not that my fellow-school-master
Doth watch Bianca’s steps so narrowly,
‘Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage;
Which once perform’d, let all the world say no,
I’ll keep mine own, despite of all the world.
TRANIO That by degrees we mean to look into,
And watch our vantage in this business:
We’ll over-reach the greybeard, Gremio,
The narrow-prying father, Minola,
The quaint musician, amorous Licio;
All for my master’s sake, Lucentio.
Re-enter GREMIO
Signior Gremio, came you from the church?
GREMIO As willingly as e’er I came from school.
TRANIO And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?
GREMIO A bridegroom say you? ’tis a groom indeed,
A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.
TRANIO Curster than she? why, ’tis impossible.
GREMIO Why he’s a devil, a devil, a very fiend.
TRANIO Why, she’s a devil, a devil, the devil’s dam.
GREMIO Tut, she’s a lamb, a dove, a fool to him!
I’ll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest
Should ask, if Katharina should be his wife,
‘Ay, by gogs-wouns,’ quoth he; and swore so loud,
That, all-amazed, the priest let fall the book;
And, as he stoop’d again to take it up,
The mad-brain’d bridegroom took him such a cuff
That down fell priest and book and book and priest:
‘Now take them up,’ quoth he, ‘if any list.’
TRANIO What said the wench when he rose again?
GREMIO Trembled and shook; for why, he stamp’d and swore,
As if the vicar meant to cozen him.
But after many ceremonies done,
He calls for wine: ‘A health!’ quoth he, as if
He had been aboard, carousing to his mates
After a storm; quaff’d off the muscadel
And threw the sops all in the sexton’s face;
Having no other reason
But that his beard grew thin and hungerly
And seem’d to ask him sops as he was drinking.
This done, he took the bride about the neck
And kiss’d her lips with such a clamorous smack
That at the parting all the church did echo:
And I seeing this came thence for very shame;
And after me, I know, the rout is coming.
Such a mad marriage never was before:
Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play.
Music
Re-enter PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, BIANCA, BAPTISTA, HORTENSIO, GRUMIO, and Train
PETRUCHIO Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains:
I know you think to dine with me to-day,
And have prepared great store of wedding cheer;
But so it is, my haste doth call me hence,
And therefore here I mean to take my leave.
BAPTISTA Is’t possible you will away to-night?
PETRUCHIO I must away to-day, before night come:
Make it no wonder; if you knew my business,
You would entreat me rather go than stay.
And, honest company, I thank you all,
That have beheld me give away myself
To this most patient, sweet and virtuous wife:
Dine with my father, drink a health to me;
For I must hence; and farewell to you all.
TRANIO Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.
PETRUCHIO It may not be.
GREMIO Let me entreat you.
PETRUCHIO It cannot be.
KATHARINA Let me entreat you.
PETRUCHIO I am content.
KATHARINA Are you content to stay?
PETRUCHIO I am content you shall entreat me stay;
But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.
KATHARINA Now, if you love me, stay.
PETRUCHIO Grumio, my horse.
GRUMIO Ay, sir, they be ready: the oats have eaten the horses.
KATHARINA Nay, then,
Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day;
No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself.
The door is open, sir; there lies your way;
You may be jogging whiles your boots are green;
For me, I’ll not be gone till I please myself:
‘Tis like you’ll prove a jolly surly groom,
That take it on you at the first so roundly.
PETRUCHIO O Kate, content thee; prithee, be not angry.
KATHARINA I will be angry: what hast thou to do?
Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure.
GREMIO Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work.
KATARINA Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner:
I see a woman may be made a fool,
If she had not a spirit to resist.
PETRUCHIO They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.
Obey the bride, you that attend on her;
Go to the feast, revel and domineer,
Carouse full measure to her maidenhead,
Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves:
But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.
Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret;
I will be master of what is mine own:
She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house,
My household stuff, my field, my barn,
My horse, my ox, my ass, my any thing;
And here she stands, touch her whoever dare;
I’ll bring mine action on the proudest he
That stops my way in Padua. Grumio,
Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves;
Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.
Fear not, sweet wench, they shall not touch
thee, Kate:
I’ll buckler thee against a million.
Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, and GRUMIO
BAPTISTA Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones.
GREMIO Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing.
TRANIO Of all mad matches never was the like.
LUCENTIO Mistress, what’s your opinion of your sister?
BIANCA That, being mad herself, she’s madly mated.
GREMIO I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.
BAPTISTA Neighbours and friends, though bride and
bridegroom wants
For to supply the places at the table,
You know there wants no junkets at the feast.
Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom’s place:
And let Bianca take her sister’s room.
TRANIO Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?
BAPTISTA She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let’s go.
Exeunt
Act 4
Scene 1
PETRUCHIO’S country house.
Enter GRUMIO
GRUMIO Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and
all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever
man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am sent
before to make a fire, and they are coming after to
warm them. Now, were not I a little pot and soon
hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my
tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my
belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me: but
I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for,
considering the weather, a taller man than I will
take cold. Holla, ho! Curtis.
Enter CURTIS
CURTIS Who is that calls so coldly?
GRUMIO A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayst slide
from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run
but my head and my neck. A fire good Curtis.
CURTIS Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
GRUMIO O, ay, Curtis, ay: and therefore fire, fire; cast
on no water.
CURTIS Is she so hot a shrew as she’s reported?
GRUMIO She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but, thou
knowest, winter tames man, woman and beast; for it
hath tamed my old master and my new mistress and
myself, fellow Curtis.
CURTIS Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.