Thieves World 2 – Tales From The Vulgar Unicorn by Asprin, Robert

She did as he’suggested, and presently Shmurt came grumbling to the door and

unbolted it. Just as she stepped in she smelled the butter more strongly, and

Smhee was inside and pushing the door shut before the startled doorkeeper could

protest.

‘He’s all right,’ Masha said.

Old Shmurt peered with runny eyes at Smhee by the light of his oil lamp. Even

with good vision, however, Shmurt couldn’t see Smhee’s face. It was covered with

a green mask.

Shmurt looked disgusted.

‘I know your husband isn’t much,’ he croaked. ‘But taking up with this

foreigner, this tub of rotten butter … shewawl’

‘It’s not what you think,’ she said indignantly.

Smhee said, ‘I must take a bath. Everyone knows me at once.’

‘Is Eevroen home?’ Masha said.

Shmurt snorted and said, ‘At this early hour? No, you and your stinking lover

will be safe.’

‘Dammit!’ Masha said. ‘He’s here on business!’

‘Some business!’

‘Mind your tongue, you old fart!’ Masha said. ‘Or I’ll cut it out!’-

Shmurt slammed the door to his room behind him. He called, ‘Whore! Slut!

Adulteress!’

Masha shrugged, lit her lamp, and went up the steps with Smhee close behind her.

Wallu looked very surprised when the fat man came in with her daughter.

‘Who is this?’

‘Someone can’t identify me?’ Smhee swi. ‘Does she have a dead nose?’

He removed his mask.

‘She doesn’t get out much,’ Masha said. She hurried to Kheem, who lay sleeping

on her rag pile. Smhee took off his cloak, revealing thin arms and legs and a

body like a ball of cheese. His shirt and vest, made of some velvety material

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