Those Extraordinary Twins by Mark Twain

guess.”

“Oh, no, he’s just young, that’s all. Still, twenty-three is old, in one

way. A young man ought to be earning his living by that time. If Tom

were doing that, or was even trying to do it, the judge would be a heap

better satisfied with him. Tom’s always going to begin, but somehow he

can’t seem to find just the opening he likes.”

“Well, now, it’s partly the judge’s own fault. Promising the boy his

property wasn’t the way to set him to earning a fortune of his own. But

what do you think is Roweny beginning to lean any toward him, or ain’t

she?”

Aunt Patsy had a secret in her bosom; she wanted to keep it there, but

nature was too strong for her. She drew Aunt Betsy aside, and said in

her most confidential and mysterious manner:

“Don’t you breathe a syllable to a soul–I’m going to tell you something.

In my opinion Tom Driscoll’s chances were considerable better yesterday

than they are to-day.”

“Patsy Cooper, what do you mean?”

“It’s so, as sure as you’re born. I wish you could ‘a’ been at breakfast

and seen for yourself.”

“You don’t mean it!”

“Well, if I’m any judge, there’s a leaning–there’s a leaning, sure.”

“My land! Which one of ’em is it?”

“I can’t say for certain, but I think it’s the youngest one–Anjy.”

Then there were hand-shakings, and congratulations, and hopes, and so on,

and the old ladies parted, perfectly happy–the one in knowing something

which the rest of the town didn’t, and the other in having been the sole

person able to furnish that knowledge.

The visitor who had called to see the twins was the Rev. Mr. Hotchkiss,

pastor of the Baptist church. At the reception Angelo had told him he

had lately experienced a change in his religious views, and was now

desirous of becoming a Baptist, and would immediately join Mr.

Hotchkiss’s church. There was no time to say more, and the brief talk

ended at that point. The minister was much gratified, and had dropped in

for a moment now, to invite the twins to attend his Bible class at eight

that evening. Angelo accepted, and was expecting Luigi to decline, but

he did not, because he knew that the Bible class and the Freethinkers met

in the same room, and he wanted to treat his brother to the embarrassment

of being caught in free-thinking company.

CHAPTER V

GUILT AND INNOCENCE FINELY BLENT

[A long and vigorous quarrel follows, between the twins. And there is

plenty to quarrel about, for Angelo was always seeking truth, and this

obliged him to change and improve his religion with frequency, which

wearied Luigi, and annoyed him too; for he had to be present at each new

enlistment–which placed him in the false position of seeming to indorse

and approve his brother’s fickleness; moreover, he had to go to Angelo’s

prohibition meetings, and he hated them. On the other hand, when it was

his week to command the legs he gave Angelo just cause of complaint, for

he took him to circuses and horse-races and fandangoes, exposing him to

all sorts of censure and criticism; and he drank, too; and whatever he

drank went to Angelo’s head instead of his own and made him act

disgracefully. When the evening was come, the two attended the Free-

thinkers’ meeting, where Angelo was sad and silent; then came the Bible

class and looked upon him coldly, finding him in such company. Then they

went to Wilson’s house and Chapter XI of Pudd’nhead Wilson follows, which

tells of the girl seen in Tom Driscoll’s room; and closes with the

kicking of Tom by Luigi at the anti-temperance mass-meeting of the Sons

of Liberty; with the addition of some account of Roxy’s adventures as a

chamber-maid on a Mississippi boat. Her exchange of the children had

been flippantly and farcically described in an earlier chapter.

Next morning all the town was a-buzz with great news; Pudd’nhead Wilson

had a law case! The, public astonishment was so great and the public

curiosity so intense, that when the justice of the peace opened his

court, the place was packed with people and even the windows were full.

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