Those Extraordinary Twins by Mark Twain

criminal from testifying against himself. Yet I had precedents of my own

whereby I had set aside that law on two different occasions and thus

succeeded in convicting criminals to whose crimes there were no witnesses

but themselves. What have you accomplished this day? Do you realize it?

You have set adrift, unadmonished, in this community, two men endowed

with an awful and mysterious gift, a hidden and grisly power for evil–

a power by which each in his turn may commit crime after crime of the

most heinous character, and no man be able to tell which is the guilty or

which the innocent party in any case of them all. Look to your homes

look to your property look to your lives for you have need!

“Prisoners at the bar, stand up. Through suppression of evidence, a jury

of your–our–countrymen have been obliged to deliver a verdict

concerning your case which stinks to heaven with the rankness of its

injustice. By its terms you, the guilty one, go free with the innocent.

Depart in peace, and come no more! The costs devolve upon the outraged

plaintiff–another iniquity. The court stands dissolved.”

Almost everybody crowded forward to overwhelm the twins and their counsel

with congratulations; but presently the two old aunties dug the

duplicates out and bore them away in triumph through the hurrahing crowd,

while lots of new friends carried Pudd’nhead Wilson off tavernward to

feast him and “wet down” his great and victorious entry into the legal

arena. To Wilson, so long familiar with neglect and depreciation, this

strange new incense of popularity and admiration was as a fragrance blown

from the fields of paradise. A happy man was Wilson.

CHAPTER VI

THE AMAZING DUEL

A deputation came in the evening and conferred upon Wilson the

welcome honor of a nomination for mayor; for the village has just

been converted into a city by charter. Tom skulks out of

challenging the twins. Judge Driscoll thereupon challenges Angelo

(accused by Tom of doing the kicking); he declines, but Luigi

accepts in his place against Angelo’s timid protest.

It was late Saturday night nearing eleven.

The judge and his second found the rest of the war party at the further

end of the vacant ground, near the haunted house. Pudd’nhead Wilson

advanced to meet them, and said anxiously:

“I must say a word in behalf of my principal’s proxy, Count Luigi, to

whom you have kindly granted the privilege of fighting my principal’s

battle for him. It is growing late, and Count Luigi is in great trouble

lest midnight shall strike before the finish.”

“It is another testimony,” said Howard, approvingly. “That young man is

fine all through. He wishes to save his brother the sorrow of fighting

on the Sabbath, and he is right; it is the right and manly feeling and

does him credit. We will make all possible haste.”

Wilson said: “There is also another reason–a consideration, in fact,

which deeply concerns Count Luigi himself. These twins have command of

their mutual legs turn about. Count Luigi is in command now; but at

midnight, possession will pass to my principal, Count Angelo, and–well,

you can foresee what will happen. He will march straight off the field,

and carry Luigi with him.”

“Why! sure enough!” cried the judge, “we have heard something about that

extraordinary law of their being, already–nothing very definite, it is

true, as regards dates and durations of power, but I see it is definite

enough as regards to-night. Of course we must give Luigi every chance.

Omit all the ceremonial possible, gentlemen, and place us in position.”

The seconds at once tossed up a coin; Howard won the choice. He placed

the judge sixty feet from the haunted house and facing it; Wilson placed

the twins within fifteen feet of the house and facing the judge–

necessarily. The pistol-case was opened and the long slim tubes taken

out; when the moonlight glinted from them a shiver went through Angelo.

The doctor was a fool, but a thoroughly well-meaning one, with a kind

heart and a sincere disposition to oblige, but along with it an absence

of tact which often hurt its effectiveness. He brought his box of lint

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