Those Extraordinary Twins by Mark Twain

but the doctor said he would have to go and see how Angelo’s principal

wound was getting on.

[It was now Sunday, and in the afternoon Angelo was to be received

into the Baptist communion by immersion–a doubtful prospect, the

doctor feared.]

CHAPTER VII

LUIGI DEFIES GALEN

When the doctor arrived at Aunt Patsy Cooper’s house, he found the lights

going and everybody up and dressed and in a great state of solicitude and

excitement. The twins were stretched on a sofa in the sitting-room, Aunt

Patsy was fussing at Angelo’s arm, Nancy was flying around under her

commands, the two young boys were trying to keep out of the way and

always getting in it, in order to see and wonder, Rowena stood apart,

helpless with apprehension and emotion, and Luigi was growling in

unappeasable fury over Angelo’s shameful flight.

As has been reported before, the doctor was a fool–a kind-hearted and

well-meaning one, but with no tact; and as he was by long odds the most

learned physician in the town, and was quite well aware of it, and could

talk his learning with ease and precision, and liked to show off when he

had an audience, he was sometimes tempted into revealing more of a case

than was good for the patient.

He examined Angelo’s wound, and was really minded to say nothing for

once; but Aunt Patsy was so anxious and so pressing that he allowed his

caution to be overcome, and proceeded to empty himself as follows, with

scientific relish:

“Without going too much into detail, madam–for you would probably not

understand it, anyway–I concede that great care is going to be necessary

here; otherwise exudation of the esophagus is nearly sure to ensue, and

this will be followed by ossification and extradition of the maxillaris

superioris, which must decompose the granular surfaces of the great

infusorial ganglionic system, thus obstructing the action of the

posterior varioloid arteries, and precipitating compound strangulated

sorosis of the valvular tissues, and ending unavoidably in the dispersion

and combustion of the marsupial fluxes and the consequent embrocation of

the bicuspid populo redax referendum rotulorum.”

A miserable silence followed. Aunt Patsy’s heart sank, the pallor of

despair invaded her face, she was not able to speak; poor Rowena wrung

her hands in privacy and silence, and said to herself in the bitterness

of her young grief, “There is no hope–it is plain there is no hope”; the

good-hearted negro wench, Nancy, paled to chocolate, then to orange, then

to amber, and thought to herself with yearning sympathy and sorrow, “Po’

thing, he ain’ gwyne to las’ throo de half o’ dat”; small Henry choked

up, and turned his head away to hide his rising tears, and his brother

Joe said to himself, with a sense of loss, “The baptizing’s busted,

that’s sure.” Luigi was the only person who had any heart to speak. He

said, a little bit sharply, to the doctor:

“Well, well, there’s nothing to be gained by wasting precious time; give

him a barrel of pills–I’ll take them for him.”

“You?” asked the doctor.

“Yes. Did you suppose he was going to take them himself?”

“Why, of course.”

“Well, it’s a mistake. He never took a dose of medicine in his life. He

can’t.”

“Well, upon my word, it’s the most extraordinary thing I ever heard of!”

“Oh,” said Aunt Patsy, as pleased as a mother whose child is being

admired and wondered at; “you’ll find that there’s more about them that’s

wonderful than their just being made in the image of God like the rest of

His creatures, now you can depend on that, I tell you,” and she wagged

her complacent head like one who could reveal marvelous things if she

chose.

The boy Joe began:

“Why, ma, they ain’t made in the im–”

“You shut up, and wait till you’re asked, Joe. I’ll let you know when I

want help. Are you looking for something, doctor?”

The doctor asked for a few sheets of paper and a pen, and said he would

write a prescription; which he did. It was one of Galen’s; in fact, it

was Galen’s favorite, and had been slaying people for sixteen thousand

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *