Those Extraordinary Twins by Mark Twain

it. This was a puzzling thing, and marred the talk a little. It

bothered the widow to such a degree that she presently dropped out of the

conversation without knowing it, and fell to watching and guessing and

talking to herself:

“Now that hand is going to take that coffee to no, it’s gone to the other

mouth; I can’t understand it; and how, here is the dark-complected hand

with a potato in its fork, I’ll see what goes with it–there, the

light-complected head’s got it, as sure as I live!”

Finally Rowena said:

“Ma, what is the matter with you? Are you dreaming about something?”

The old lady came to herself and blushed; then she explained with the

first random thing that came into her mind: “I saw Mr. Angelo take up Mr.

Luigi’s coffee, and I thought maybe he–sha’n’t I give you a cup, Mr.

Angelo?”

“Oh no, madam, I am very much obliged, but I never drink coffee, much as

I would like to. You did see me take up Luigi’s cup, it is true, but if

you noticed, I didn’t carry it to my mouth, but to his.”

“Y-es, I thought you did: Did you mean to?”

“How?”

The widow was a little embarrassed again. She said:

“I don’t know but what I’m foolish, and you mustn’t mind; but you see,

he got the coffee I was expecting to see you drink, and you got a potato

that I thought he was going to get. So I thought it might be a mistake

all around, and everybody getting what wasn’t intended for him.”

Both twins laughed and Luigi said:

“Dear madam, there wasn’t any mistake. We are always helping each other

that way. It is a great economy for us both; it saves time and labor.

We have a system of signs which nobody can notice or understand but

ourselves. If I am using both my hands and want some coffee, I make the

sign and Angelo furnishes it to me; and you saw that when he needed a

potato I delivered it.”

“How convenient!”

“Yes, and often of the extremest value. Take the Mississippi boats, for

instance. They are always overcrowded. There is table-room for only

half of the passengers, therefore they have to set a second table for the

second half. The stewards rush both parties, they give them no time to

eat a satisfying meal, both divisions leave the table hungry. It isn’t

so with us. Angelo books himself for the one table, I book myself for

the other. Neither of us eats anything at the other’s table, but just

simply works–works. Thus, you see there are four hands to feed Angelo,

and the same four to feed me. Each of us eats two meals.”

The old lady was dazed with admiration, and kept saying, “It is perfectly

wonderful, perfectly wonderful” and the boy Joe licked his chops

enviously, but said nothing–at least aloud.

“Yes,” continued Luigi, “our construction may have its disadvantages–in

fact, has but it also has its compensations of one sort and another. Take

travel, for instance. Travel is enormously expensive, in all countries;

we have been obliged to do a vast deal of it–come, Angelo, don’t put any

more sugar in your tea, I’m just over one indigestion and don’t want

another right away–been obliged to do a deal of it, as I was saying.

Well, we always travel as one person, since we occupy but one seat; so we

save half the fare.”

“How romantic!” interjected Rowena, with effusion.

“Yes, my dear young lady, and how practical too, and economical. In

Europe, beds in the hotels are not charged with the board, but

separately–another saving, for we stood to our rights and paid for the

one bed only. The landlords often insisted that as both of us occupied

the bed we ought–”

“No, they didn’t,” said Angelo. “They did it only twice, and in both

cases it was a double bed–a rare thing in Europe–and the double bed

gave them some excuse. Be fair to the landlords; twice doesn’t

constitute ‘often.'”

“Well, that depends–that depends. I knew a man who fell down a well

twice. He said he didn’t mind the first time, but he thought the second

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