Amen. So fall to’t:
Rich men sin, and I eat root.
Eats and drinks
Much good dich thy good heart, Apemantus!
TIMON Captain Alcibiades, your heart’s in the field now.
ALCIBIADES My heart is ever at your service, my lord.
TIMON You had rather be at a breakfast of enemies than a
dinner of friends.
ALCIBIADES So the were bleeding-new, my lord, there’s no meat
like ’em: I could wish my best friend at such a feast.
APEMANTUS Would all those fatterers were thine enemies then,
that then thou mightst kill ’em and bid me to ’em!
First Lord Might we but have that happiness, my lord, that you
would once use our hearts, whereby we might express
some part of our zeals, we should think ourselves
for ever perfect.
TIMON O, no doubt, my good friends, but the gods
themselves have provided that I shall have much help
from you: how had you been my friends else? why
have you that charitable title from thousands, did
not you chiefly belong to my heart? I have told
more of you to myself than you can with modesty
speak in your own behalf; and thus far I confirm
you. O you gods, think I, what need we have any
friends, if we should ne’er have need of ’em? they
were the most needless creatures living, should we
ne’er have use for ’em, and would most resemble
sweet instruments hung up in cases that keep their
sounds to themselves. Why, I have often wished
myself poorer, that I might come nearer to you. We
are born to do benefits: and what better or
properer can we can our own than the riches of our
friends? O, what a precious comfort ’tis, to have
so many, like brothers, commanding one another’s
fortunes! O joy, e’en made away ere ‘t can be born!
Mine eyes cannot hold out water, methinks: to
forget their faults, I drink to you.
APEMANTUS Thou weepest to make them drink, Timon.
Second Lord Joy had the like conception in our eyes
And at that instant like a babe sprung up.
APEMANTUS Ho, ho! I laugh to think that babe a bastard.
Third Lord I promise you, my lord, you moved me much.
APEMANTUS Much!
Tucket, within
TIMON What means that trump?
Enter a Servant
How now?
Servant Please you, my lord, there are certain
ladies most desirous of admittance.
TIMON Ladies! what are their wills?
Servant There comes with them a forerunner, my lord, which
bears that office, to signify their pleasures.
TIMON I pray, let them be admitted.
Enter Cupid
Cupid Hail to thee, worthy Timon, and to all
That of his bounties taste! The five best senses
Acknowledge thee their patron; and come freely
To gratulate thy plenteous bosom: th’ ear,
Taste, touch and smell, pleased from thy tale rise;
They only now come but to feast thine eyes.
TIMON They’re welcome all; let ’em have kind admittance:
Music, make their welcome!
Exit Cupid
First Lord You see, my lord, how ample you’re beloved.
Music. Re-enter Cupid with a mask of Ladies as Amazons, with lutes in their hands, dancing and playing
APEMANTUS Hoy-day, what a sweep of vanity comes this way!
They dance! they are mad women.
Like madness is the glory of this life.
As this pomp shows to a little oil and root.
We make ourselves fools, to disport ourselves;
And spend our flatteries, to drink those men
Upon whose age we void it up again,
With poisonous spite and envy.
Who lives that’s not depraved or depraves?
Who dies, that bears not one spurn to their graves
Of their friends’ gift?
I should fear those that dance before me now
Would one day stamp upon me: ‘t has been done;
Men shut their doors against a setting sun.
The Lords rise from table, with much adoring of TIMON; and to show their loves, each singles out an Amazon, and all dance, men with women, a lofty strain or two to the hautboys, and cease
TIMON You have done our pleasures much grace, fair ladies,
Set a fair fashion on our entertainment,
Which was not half so beautiful and kind;
You have added worth unto ‘t and lustre,
And entertain’d me with mine own device;
I am to thank you for ‘t.
First Lady My lord, you take us even at the best.
APEMANTUS ‘Faith, for the worst is filthy; and would not hold
taking, I doubt me.
TIMON Ladies, there is an idle banquet attends you:
Please you to dispose yourselves.
All Ladies Most thankfully, my lord.
Exeunt Cupid and Ladies
TIMON Flavius.
FLAVIUS My lord?
TIMON The little casket bring me hither.
FLAVIUS Yes, my lord. More jewels yet!
There is no crossing him in ‘s humour;
Aside
Else I should tell him,–well, i’ faith I should,
When all’s spent, he ‘ld be cross’d then, an he could.
‘Tis pity bounty had not eyes behind,
That man might ne’er be wretched for his mind.
Exit
First Lord Where be our men?
Servant Here, my lord, in readiness.
Second Lord Our horses!
Re-enter FLAVIUS, with the casket
TIMON O my friends,
I have one word to say to you: look you, my good lord,
I must entreat you, honour me so much
As to advance this jewel; accept it and wear it,
Kind my lord.
First Lord I am so far already in your gifts,–
All So are we all.
Enter a Servant
Servant My lord, there are certain nobles of the senate
Newly alighted, and come to visit you.
TIMON They are fairly welcome.
FLAVIUS I beseech your honour,
Vouchsafe me a word; it does concern you near.
TIMON Near! why then, another time I’ll hear thee:
I prithee, let’s be provided to show them
entertainment.
FLAVIUS [Aside]
I scarce know how.
Enter a Second Servant
Second Servant May it please your honour, Lord Lucius,
Out of his free love, hath presented to you
Four milk-white horses, trapp’d in silver.
TIMON I shall accept them fairly; let the presents
Be worthily entertain’d.
Enter a third Servant
How now! what news?
Third Servant Please you, my lord, that honourable
gentleman, Lord Lucullus, entreats your company
to-morrow to hunt with him, and has sent your honour
two brace of greyhounds.
TIMON I’ll hunt with him; and let them be received,
Not without fair reward.
FLAVIUS [Aside]
What will this come to?
He commands us to provide, and give great gifts,
And all out of an empty coffer:
Nor will he know his purse, or yield me this,
To show him what a beggar his heart is,
Being of no power to make his wishes good:
His promises fly so beyond his state
That what he speaks is all in debt; he owes
For every word: he is so kind that he now
Pays interest for ‘t; his land’s put to their books.
Well, would I were gently put out of office
Before I were forced out!
Happier is he that has no friend to feed
Than such that do e’en enemies exceed.
I bleed inwardly for my lord.
Exit
TIMON You do yourselves
Much wrong, you bate too much of your own merits:
Here, my lord, a trifle of our love.
Second Lord With more than common thanks I will receive it.
Third Lord O, he’s the very soul of bounty!
TIMON And now I remember, my lord, you gave
Good words the other day of a bay courser
I rode on: it is yours, because you liked it.
Second Lord O, I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, in that.
TIMON You may take my word, my lord; I know, no man
Can justly praise but what he does affect:
I weigh my friend’s affection with mine own;
I’ll tell you true. I’ll call to you.
All Lords O, none so welcome.
TIMON I take all and your several visitations
So kind to heart, ’tis not enough to give;
Methinks, I could deal kingdoms to my friends,
And ne’er be weary. Alcibiades,
Thou art a soldier, therefore seldom rich;
It comes in charity to thee: for all thy living
Is ‘mongst the dead, and all the lands thou hast
Lie in a pitch’d field.
ALCIBIADES Ay, defiled land, my lord.
First Lord We are so virtuously bound–
TIMON And so
Am I to you.
Second Lord So infinitely endear’d–
TIMON All to you. Lights, more lights!
First Lord The best of happiness,
Honour and fortunes, keep with you, Lord Timon!
TIMON Ready for his friends.
Exeunt all but APEMANTUS and TIMON
APEMANTUS What a coil’s here!
Serving of becks and jutting-out of bums!
I doubt whether their legs be worth the sums
That are given for ’em. Friendship’s full of dregs:
Methinks, false hearts should never have sound legs,
Thus honest fools lay out their wealth on court’sies.
TIMON Now, Apemantus, if thou wert not sullen, I would be
good to thee.
APEMANTUS No, I’ll nothing: for if I should be bribed too,
there would be none left to rail upon thee, and then