TOURIST SEASON by Carl Hiaasen

Much as he wanted to, Mulcahy could never say all that, because journalism was not the issue here.

There was a firm, well-rehearsed knock on the door. Before Mulcahy could get up, Ricky Bloodworth stuck his head in the room.

“I hate it when you do that,” Mulcahy said.

“Sorry.” Bloodworth handed him a stack of columns. “Thought you might want to take a gander at these.”

“Fine. Go away now.”

“Sure, Mr. Mulcahy. Are you feeling okay?”

“A little tired, that’s all. Please shut the door behind you.”

“Any one of those could run tomorrow,” Bloodworth said. “They’re sort of timeless.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Mulcahy sagged behind his desk and scanned the columns. With each sentence he grew queasier. Bloodworth had generously penciled his own headline ideas at the top of each piece:

“Abortion: What’s the Big Deal?”

“Capital Punishment: Is the Chair Tough Enough?”

“Vietnam: Time to Try Again?”

Mulcahy was aghast. He buzzed his secretary.

“Seventy-seven calls about today’s column,” she reported. “Only three persons seemed to like it, and one of them thought it was satire.”

“Has anyone phoned,” Mulcahy asked, “who remotely sounded like Mr. Wiley?”

“I’m afraid not.”

Mulcahy’s stomach was on fire; the coffee was going down like brake fluid. He opened the curtains and balefully scouted the newsroom. Ricky Bloodworth was back at his desk, earnestly interviewing two husky men in red fez hats. Mulcahy felt on the verge of panic.

“Get me Brian Keyes,” he told his secretary. Enough was enough—he’d given Keyes his lousy twenty-four hours. Now it was time to find Skip Wiley, dead or alive.

How’s the fish?” Jenna said.

“Very good,” said Brian Keyes.

“It’s a grouper. The man at the market promised it was fresh. How’s the lemon sauce?”

“Very good,” Keyes said.

“It’s a little runny.”

“It’s fine, Jenna.”

She lowered her eyes and gave a shy smile that brought back a million memories. A smile designed to pulverize your heart. For diversion, Keyes took a fork and studiously cut the fish into identical bite-size squares.

“I liked your hair better when it was shaggy,” Jenna said. “Now you look like an insurance man.”

“I’m in court so much these days. Gotta look straight and reliable up on the witness stand.”

Keyes wondered how much small talk would be necessary to finesse the awkward questions: Where’ve you been? What’ve you been up to? Did you get our Christmas card? He was no good at small talk, and neither was Jenna. Jenna liked to get right to the juicy stuff.

“Are you seeing anybody?”

“Not right now,” Keyes said.

“I heard you were dating a lady lawyer. Sheila something-or-other.”

“She moved,” Keyes said, “to Jacksonville. Got on with a good firm. We’re still friendly.” Surely, he thought, Jenna could see how uncomfortable this was.

“So you’re living alone,” she said, not unkindly.

“Most nights, yeah.”

“You could call, just to say hi.”

“Skip doesn’t like it,” Keyes said.

“He wouldn’t mind,” Jenna said, “every now and then.”

But in fact, when Jenna had first dumped him for Skip Wiley, Brian Keyes had phoned every night for three weeks, lovesick and miserable. Finally Wiley had started answering Jenna’s telephone and singing “When You Walk Through a Storm.” Immediately Keyes had quit calling.

“You look like you’ve lost about eight pounds,” Jenna remarked, studying him across the table.

“Nine,” Keyes said, impressed. “You look very good.” The understatement of the century.

She had come straight from her jazz exercise class, which she taught four times a week. She was wearing a lavender Danskin, pink knit leg warmers, and white sneakers. Her blond hair was bobbed up, and she wore tiny gold earrings that caught the light each time she turned her head. Keyes noticed a fresh hint of lipstick, and the taste of an elusive perfume. As if all that weren’t enough, she had a terrific new tan, which fascinated Keyes because Jenna was not a beach person.

“It’s been a while since you’ve been here,” she said, pouring white wine.

“You’ve really done some work on the place.”

“Damage, you mean. It’s Skip, mostly.”

Keyes pointed to a cluster of pockmarks high on the living-room wall, beneath a stuffed largemouth bass. “Are those bullet holes?”

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