TOURIST SEASON by Carl Hiaasen

“Yeah?”

“Your T-shirt’s pretty pitiful, but the Stones are all right.”

She ordered a club soda. Keyes asked for a draft.

“I was kidding about the shirt,” Kara Lynn said.

“And my sneakers.”

“No, I was serious about the sneakers.” She gave his arm a little pinch. Keyes grinned. He was starting to feel warm and comfortable and incredibly witty. Time to watch out. Book of Jenna, Chapter One.

“Why’d you leave the newspaper?” Kara Lynn asked. Some weight-lifter-type with an enormous head of curly blond hair waved at her from across the lounge and pointed to his drink. She shook her head no, and turned away.

“You want to join him, it’s okay,” Keyes said. “I’ll sit up at the bar.”

“Oh no you won’t. Tell me why you quit the newspaper.”

Keyes gulped the beer. “Because I made a mistake.”

“Everybody makes mistakes.”

“Not big ones. Not in that business.”

“Oh, come on. How bad could it be?”

“The worst.” Keyes set down the mug and leaned forward. “Let me explain something. Your dad’s a bigshot lawyer. If he goofs up, he waltzes into court, files a new motion, and fixes it. The client never knows. If a surgeon screws up, he digs a little deeper, adds a few extra stitches, and makes it all right. In most jobs it’s like that—there’s always a way out. But what I did, I can’t fix. It’s done forever. Once the paper rolls off the press, that’s it. Sure, you can publish a correction or a bloody apology, but there’s no guarantee that the right people will see it. Some folks will only remember what you wrote the first time, and if what you wrote was wrong, that’s how they’ll remember it.”

“Did you get fired?”

“I resigned. My boss never knew why.”

“You were scared to tell him.”

“No, I was scared to hurt him.”

Kara Lynn twirled the ice cubes in her club soda.

“Do you miss it?”

“Sometimes,” he said, “I miss the people. Some of the smartest people I know work in that business. And some of the screwiest. That’s what happens when you chase the truth for too long; you finally catch up with it and you’re never the same. Screwed up for life.” He was thinking of Skip Wiley.

Kara Lynn was a terrific listener. She was too good. Keyes wondered if she was petrified with boredom.

But then she said: “Tell me about being a private eye.”

“One thrill after another: Mr. Keyes, here’s two grand. Find out if my wife’s sleeping with her psychiatrist. Take some pictures, too.”

“Still chasing the truth,” said Kara Lynn.

“Yeah. But it’s a cheap grimy truth. Gets in your hair, your clothes. Under your goddamn fingernails. I never felt like this when I was a reporter, honest to God.”

“You’re pretty unhappy, Brian.”

“That makes two of us, Cinderella.”

“Why, whatever do you mean? I’m the Orange Bowl queen, remember? I’ve got a thousand-dollar savings bond, a new wardrobe, a singing coach, and a four-year scholarship.” Kara Lynn shook loose her ponytail and struck a haughty profile. “What more could a girl want?” Then she cracked up laughing.

Keyes laughed too.

The gorilla with the curly blond hair was waving again.

“I think Hercules wants to buy you a drink,” Keyes said.

“Yeah, time to go.” Kara Lynn signed the tab. Keyes didn’t feel the least bit odd about it; Reed Shivers would find a way to write it off.

“Do me a favor, Brian.”

“Sure.”

“When we walk out of here, would you hold my hand?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s more polite than saying, ‘fuck off.’ Which is what I’d like really to tell these jerks, but I can’t. Not here at Dad’s club.”

As they rose from the table, Keyes tucked the tennis racket under his left arm and put his right arm around Kara Lynn’s shoulders. They walked out that way, right past the Old Spice preppies. It felt just fine.

“You’re a good sport,” Kara Lynn said when they got to the car, “and I was right about your legs. You ran me ragged out there.”

Brian Keyes wasn’t listening.

The Seville was parked across the street, in the shade of a banyan tree. A thin dark man in an undershirt sat on the fender, drumming his hands on the side of the car. The man wasn’t paying attention; he wasn’t doing what he’d been told.

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