Iratazabal heaved himself upright. “You can hold out as long as we give you pitched battles. But wait tilt we turn to raiding! You’ll have fields trampled every night, and snipers chipping at you every day. You won’t dare go within
.&.
bowshot of the woods. We’ll chivy your herds through your crops till they’ve run all their fat off and there’s not a blade still standing. And you’ll get no harvest in, above what you grab off the stem and eat running. How are the granaries, Kynthides? Will there be any seed corn left by spring?”
The man dropped into his chair and took his head in trembling hands. “You’ve got us where we hurt. We can’t survive that kind of warfare. But how can I promise land that isn’t mine? It belongs to Kypros’ backers, if anyone.”
“Pay them off in the grain that won’t be spoiled. Fix up the details any way it suits you. I’m not trying to make it hard on youwe can kick through with a reasonable number of pelts and such to even the bargain.”
He looked up. “All right, Iratzabal,” he said wearily. “You can have Atlantis.”
Karen Anderson
A PHILOSOPHICAL DIALOGUE
“Hey, a great idea for an essay!” exclaimed the lady. “A sure-fire attention-getter. Come out against God, motherhood, and apple pie, and in favor of sin and the man-eating shark.”
“That’s new?” answered the gentleman.-“You must have a different angle”
“I’ll think of one. For instance, motherhood increases population pressure and the man-eating shark reduces it. Didn’t you see George O.‘s letter in Analog?”
“Yes. Really, though, darling, these days the position you want me to take is dismally conventional. Much more effective to declare in favor of God, motherhood, and apple pie, and against sin and the man-eating shark.”
“Won’t work. People would only say, ‘That’s him again, on his back-to-McKinley kick.’ “
“You prefer Nixon? Having barely survived
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A PHILOSOPHICAL DIALOGUE
247
Johnson and Kennedy? But anyhow, brighteyes, I’m well aware that these days it is not necessary and certainly not sufficient to argue from fact and logic. Your grounds must be fashionable.”
“Okay, let’s hear.”
“Snuggle closer, hm? Now let me think Ah, yes.
“God. Well, after all, without God there wouldn’t be churches, would there? And without churches, there wouldn’t be any Social Gospel or Fathers Berrigan and Groppi or many other delightful features of our mod world. And besides, you know, God is real groovy. Like in Playboy a little while back, remember, they had this article proving what a swinger Jesus was. And man has to find Meaninghe has to get away from Dehumanizing Scienceand, sure, you can find Meaning if you say Om often enough, but you can find it in First Corinthians too; and Christianity draws from so many different religions that it has more to offer than its predecessors, whose temple rites, shamans, and gods were generally pretty brutal; in other words, Christianity can drive you a lot crazier than ziggurats and witches and vile, vile Rimmon.
“Nextdon’t bother me, I’m trying to think motherhood. You must realize that the concept involves more than simply farrowing. The image of Mother requires a child already in the worlda whole family, in fact, of which she is the serene, benign, tender but infinitely strong and patient centerto which she devotes her entire life, considering herself happy if at the
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The Unicorn Trade
end when she is old, her children kiss her work-worn hands before they set her little grandchildren on her lap that she may cuddle and care for these too…. Yes. Let’s by all means associate reproduction with motherhood; let’s get this fixed in every female heart and soul. The population curve will nosedive!
“Apple pie… . Don’t bother me, I said… . Well, if you want to bother me that way
“Ah, yes. Apple pie. Good old-fashioned American apple pie. None of these frozen imitations, produced by impersonal machines in some atmosphere-polluting factory for the profit of greedy capitalists. No, people should do for themselves, expressing their individuality in arts and crafts and apple pies. In fact, they ought to raise their own applesand wheat, which they can personally plant, harvest, thresh, and mill thereby helping the environment, since green leaves revitalize the air… . And having baked several extra pies, you can trade them to your neighbor for some wool off the sheep he keeps, which you can wash, card, spin, and weave with your own individual hands.”