Voyage From Yesteryear

“I’ve talked to shrinks. They’re all crazy. How do they know whether I know me or not? Do you know how your head works inside?” Anita shook it in a way that said she didn’t care all that much either. Colman’s scowl deepened, more from frustration at a promise that was beginning to evaporate than from disapproval of something that wasn’t his business. “Then how do you expect a pill to figure it out?”

“You should try to find yourself, Steve. It’s healthy.”

“I never lost myself.”

“Zangreni needs stimulants to catalyze her~ psychic currents. That’s how she make predictions.”

“For Christ’s sake, that’s TV fiction. She doesn’t exist.

It’s not real life. There isn’t anything like that in real life.” “Who cares? It’s more fun. Why be a drag?”

Colman looked away in exasperation. She could have been a unique, thinking person. Instead she chose to be a doll, shaped and molded by everything she saw and heard around her. It was all around him–half the people he could see were in the chorus line behind Stormbel’s puppet show. They could be told what to think because they didn’t want to think. Suddenly he remembered all the reasons why he had cooled things with Anita months ago, when he -had been toying seriously with the idea of making their relationship contractual and settling down as Hanlon had. He had tried to tune into her wavelength and found nothing but static. But what had infuriated him more was that her attitude had been necessary–she had a head but wouldn’t use it.

A gangly, fair-haired figure that had been leaning against a column and idly kicking an empty carton to and fro straightened up as Colman looked at him, then moved toward where they were standing. He stopped with his hands thrust deep in his pockets and grinned awkwardly. Colman stared at the boy in surprise. It was lay Fallows. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Oh, I figured you’d be around here somewhere.” “Is this the guy who makes trains?” Anita asked. “Yeah. This is Jay. He’s okay… and smart.”

“Smart . . . brains.” A faraway look was coming into Anita’s eyes. “Brains and trains. I like it. It’s lyrical. Don’t you think it’s lyrical?” She smiled at Jay and winked saucily. “Hi, Jay.” The pill was mixing with the drinks and getting to her already. Jay grinned but looked uncomfortable.

“Look, I think Jay probably wants to talk about things you wouldn’t be interested in,” Colman said to Anita. “Why

don’t you go on after the others. I’ll catch up later.” You don’t want me around?”

Colman sighed. “It’s not anything like that. It’s just–” Anita waved a hand in front of her face. “It’s okay. You don’t want me around… you don’t want me around. It’s okay.” Her voice was staging to rise and fall singsong fashion. “Who says I need anybody to have a good time, anyhow? I’m fine, see. It’s okay …. You and lay can go talk about brains and trains.” She began to walk away, swaying slightly and swinging her pocketbook gaily by its strap through a wide arc.

“Look, I-I didn’t mean to bust into anything,” lay stammered. “I mean, if you and her are…’

Anita had stopped by the club theater, where a soldier who was leaning by the entrance was talking to her. She slipped an arm through his and laughed something in reply. “About as much as that.” Colman said, nodding his head. “Forget it. Maybe you did me a favor.” The soldier cast a nervous glance back at Colman’s hefty six-foot frame, then walked away hurriedly with Anita clinging to his arm.

Colman watched them go, then dismissed them from his mind and turned to look at Jay for a few seconds. “Can’t figure life Out, huh?” he said gruffly. It saved a lot of pointless questions.

Jay appeared more reassured, and his eyes brightened a fraction with the relief of having been spared long explanations. “It’s all screwed up,” he replied simply.

“Would you feel better if I said I haven’t figured it out yet either?”

Jay shook his head. “It’d just mean we’ve got the same problem. It wouldn’t solve anything.”

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *