was filled with both wonder and trepidation, with both wild joy and fear of the
unknown, simultaneously awestricken and bewildered. He wanted to laugh because
he had never seen anything half as delightful as this dog. He also wanted to cry
because only hours ago he’d thought life was bleak, dark, and pointless. But no
matter how painful it was sometimes, life was (he now realized) nonetheless
precious. He actually felt as if God had sent the retriever to intrigue him, to
remind him that the world was full of surprises and that despair made no sense
when one had no understanding of the purpose—and strange possibilities—of
existence. Travis wanted to laugh, but his laughter teetered on the brink of a
sob. Yet when he surrendered to the sob, it became a laugh. When he attempted to
stand, he knew that he was even shakier than before, too shaky, so he did the
only thing he could do: he stayed in his chair and took another long swallow of
Coors.
Cocking its head one way and then the other, looking slightly wary, the dog
watched him as if it thought he had gone mad. He had. Months ago. But he was all
better now.
He put down the Coors and wiped tears out of his eyes with the backs of his
hands. He said, “Come here, fur face.”
The retriever hesitated, then came to him.
He ruffled and stroked its coat, scratched behind its ears. “You amaze me and
scare me. I can’t figure where you came from or how you got to be what you are,
but you couldn’t have come where you’re more needed. A question mark, huh?
Jesus. All right. You want to know why I felt life had no purpose or joy for me?
I’ll tell you. I will, by God, I’ll sit right here and have another beer and
tell it to a dog. But first . . . I’m going to name you.”
The retriever blew air out of its nostrils, as if to say, Well, it’s about time.
Holding the dog’s head, looking straight into its eyes, Travis said, “Einstein.
From now on, fur face, your name is Einstein.”
4
Streck called again at ten minutes past nine.
Nora snatched up the phone on the first ring, fiercely determined to tell him
off and make him leave her alone. But for some reason she clenched up again and
was unable to speak.
In a repulsively intimate tone of voice, he said, “You miss me, prettiness?
Hmmmm? Do you wish I’d come to you, be a man for you?”
She hung up.
What’s wrong with me? she wondered. Why can’t I tell him to go away and stop
bothering me?
Maybe her speechlessness grew from a secret desire to hear a man—any man, even a
disgusting specimen like Streck—call her pretty. Although he was not the kind
who would be capable of tenderness or affection, she could listen to him and
imagine what it would be like to have a good man say sweet things to her.
“Well, you’re not pretty,” she told herself, “and you never ever will be, so
stop mooning around. Next time he calls, tell him off.”
She got out of bed and went down the hall to the bathroom, where there was a
mirror. Following Violet Devon’s example, Nora did not have mirrors anywhere in
the house except the bathrooms. She did not like to look at herself because what
she saw was saddening.
This one night, however, she wanted to take a look at herself because Streck’s
flattery, though cold and calculated, had stirred her curiosity. Not that she
hoped to see some fine quality that she had never seen before. No. From duckling
to swan overnight . . . that was a frivolous, hopeless dream. Rather, she wanted
to confirm that she was undesirable. Streck’s unwanted interest rattled Nora
because she was comfortable in her homeliness and solitude, and she wanted to
reassure herself that he was mocking her, that he would not act upon his
threats, that her peaceful solitude would endure. Or so she told herself as she
stepped into the bathroom and switched on the light.