WHAT IS MAN? AND OTHER ESSAYS OF MARK TWAIN

This has made his heart buoyant, his life cheery. His pride in

himself, his sincere admiration of himself, his joy in what he

supposed were his own and unassisted achievements, and his

exultation over the praise and applause which they evoked–these

have exalted him, enthused him, ambitioned him to higher and

higher flights; in a word, made his life worth the living. But

by your scheme, all this is abolished; he is degraded to a

machine, he is a nobody, his noble prides wither to mere

vanities; let him strive as he may, he can never be any better

than his humblest and stupidest neighbor; he would never be

cheerful again, his life would not be worth the living.

O.M. You really think that?

Y.M. I certainly do.

O.M. Have you ever seen me uncheerful, unhappy.

Y.M. No.

O.M. Well, _I_ believe these things. Why have they not

made me unhappy?

Y.M. Oh, well–temperament, of course! You never let THAT

escape from your scheme.

O.M. That is correct. If a man is born with an unhappy

temperament, nothing can make him happy; if he is born with a

happy temperament, nothing can make him unhappy.

Y.M. What–not even a degrading and heart-chilling system

of beliefs?

O.M. Beliefs? Mere beliefs? Mere convictions? They are

powerless. They strive in vain against inborn temperament.

Y.M. I can’t believe that, and I don’t.

O.M. Now you are speaking hastily. It shows that you have

not studiously examined the facts. Of all your intimates, which

one is the happiest? Isn’t it Burgess?

Y.M. Easily.

O.M. And which one is the unhappiest? Henry Adams?

Y.M. Without a question!

O.M. I know them well. They are extremes, abnormals; their

temperaments are as opposite as the poles. Their life-histories

are about alike–but look at the results! Their ages are about

the same–about around fifty. Burgess had always been buoyant,

hopeful, happy; Adams has always been cheerless, hopeless,

despondent. As young fellows both tried country journalism–and

failed. Burgess didn’t seem to mind it; Adams couldn’t smile, he

could only mourn and groan over what had happened and torture

himself with vain regrets for not having done so and so instead

of so and so–THEN he would have succeeded. They tried the law–

and failed. Burgess remained happy–because he couldn’t help it.

Adams was wretched–because he couldn’t help it. From that day

to this, those two men have gone on trying things and failing:

Burgess has come out happy and cheerful every time; Adams the

reverse. And we do absolutely know that these men’s inborn

temperaments have remained unchanged through all the vicissitudes

of their material affairs. Let us see how it is with their

immaterials. Both have been zealous Democrats; both have been

zealous Republicans; both have been zealous Mugwumps. Burgess

has always found happiness and Adams unhappiness in these several

political beliefs and in their migrations out of them. Both of

these men have been Presbyterians, Universalists, Methodists,

Catholics–then Presbyterians again, then Methodists again.

Burgess has always found rest in these excursions, and Adams

unrest. They are trying Christian Science, now, with the

customary result, the inevitable result. No political or

religious belief can make Burgess unhappy or the other man happy.

I assure you it is purely a matter of temperament. Beliefs are

ACQUIREMENTS, temperaments are BORN; beliefs are subject to

change, nothing whatever can change temperament.

Y.M. You have instanced extreme temperaments.

O.M. Yes, the half-dozen others are modifications of the

extremes. But the law is the same. Where the temperament is

two-thirds happy, or two-thirds unhappy, no political or

religious beliefs can change the proportions. The vast majority

of temperaments are pretty equally balanced; the intensities are

absent, and this enables a nation to learn to accommodate itself

to its political and religious circumstances and like them, be

satisfied with them, at last prefer them. Nations do not THINK,

they only FEEL. They get their feelings at second hand through

their temperaments, not their brains. A nation can be brought–

by force of circumstances, not argument–to reconcile itself to

ANY KIND OF GOVERNMENT OR RELIGION THAT CAN BE DEVISED; in time

it will fit itself to the required conditions; later, it will

prefer them and will fiercely fight for them. As instances, you

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