WHAT IS MAN? AND OTHER ESSAYS OF MARK TWAIN

have all history: the Greeks, the Romans, the Persians, the

Egyptians, the Russians, the Germans, the French, the English,

the Spaniards, the Americans, the South Americans, the Japanese,

the Chinese, the Hindus, the Turks–a thousand wild and tame

religions, every kind of government that can be thought of, from

tiger to house-cat, each nation KNOWING it has the only true

religion and the only sane system of government, each despising

all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it, each proud of

its fancied supremacy, each perfectly sure it is the pet of God,

each without undoubting confidence summoning Him to take command

in time of war, each surprised when He goes over to the enemy,

but by habit able to excuse it and resume compliments–in a word,

the whole human race content, always content, persistently

content, indestructibly content, happy, thankful, proud, NO

MATTER WHAT ITS RELIGION IS, NOR WHETHER ITS MASTER BE TIGER OR

HOUSE-CAT. Am I stating facts? You know I am. Is the human

race cheerful? You know it is. Considering what it can stand,

and be happy, you do me too much honor when you think that _I_

can place before it a system of plain cold facts that can take

the cheerfulness out of it. Nothing can do that. Everything has

been tried. Without success. I beg you not to be troubled.

—————————————————————–

THE DEATH OF JEAN

The death of Jean Clemens occurred early in the morning of

December 24, 1909. Mr. Clemens was in great stress of mind when

I first saw him, but a few hours later I found him writing

steadily.

“I am setting it down,” he said, “everything. It is a

relief to me to write it. It furnishes me an excuse for

thinking.” At intervals during that day and the next I looked

in, and usually found him writing. Then on the evening of the

26th, when he knew that Jean had been laid to rest in Elmira, he

came to my room with the manuscript in his hand.

“I have finished it,” he said; “read it. I can form no

opinion of it myself. If you think it worthy, some day–at the

proper time–it can end my autobiography. It is the final

chapter.”

Four months later–almost to the day–(April 21st) he was

with Jean.

Albert Bigelow Paine.

Stormfield, Christmas Eve, 11 A.M., 1909.

JEAN IS DEAD!

Has any one ever tried to put upon paper all the little

happenings connected with a dear one–happenings of the twenty-

four hours preceding the sudden and unexpected death of that dear

one? Would a book contain them? Would two books contain them?

I think not. They pour into the mind in a flood. They are

little things that have been always happening every day, and were

always so unimportant and easily forgettable before–but now!

Now, how different! how precious they are, now dear, how

unforgettable, how pathetic, how sacred, how clothed with dignity!

Last night Jean, all flushed with splendid health, and I the

same, from the wholesome effects of my Bermuda holiday, strolled

hand in hand from the dinner-table and sat down in the library

and chatted, and planned, and discussed, cheerily and happily

(and how unsuspectingly!)–until nine–which is late for us–then

went upstairs, Jean’s friendly German dog following. At my door

Jean said, “I can’t kiss you good night, father: I have a cold,

and you could catch it.” I bent and kissed her hand. She was

moved–I saw it in her eyes–and she impulsively kissed my hand

in return. Then with the usual gay “Sleep well, dear!” from

both, we parted.

At half past seven this morning I woke, and heard voices

outside my door. I said to myself, “Jean is starting on her

usual horseback flight to the station for the mail.” Then Katy

[1] entered, stood quaking and gasping at my bedside a moment,

then found her tongue:

“MISS JEAN IS DEAD!”

Possibly I know now what the soldier feels when a bullet

crashes through his heart.

In her bathroom there she lay, the fair young creature,

stretched upon the floor and covered with a sheet. And looking

so placid, so natural, and as if asleep. We knew what had

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