WHAT IS MAN? AND OTHER ESSAYS OF MARK TWAIN

too. And this is true of hieroglyphics, as well. There is

something pleasant and engaging about the mathematical signs when

we do not understand them. The mystery hidden in these things

has a fascination for us: we can’t come across a printed page of

shorthand without being impressed by it and wishing we could read

it.

Very well, what I am offering for acceptance and adopting is

not shorthand, but longhand, written with the SHORTHAND ALPHABET

UNREACHED. You can write three times as many words in a minute

with it as you can write with our alphabet. And so, in a way, it

IS properly a shorthand. It has a pleasant look, too; a

beguiling look, an inviting look. I will write something in it,

in my rude and untaught way: [Figure 8]

Even when _I_ do it it comes out prettier than it does in

Simplified Spelling. Yes, and in the Simplified it costs one

hundred and twenty-three pen-strokes to write it, whereas in the

phonographic it costs only twenty-nine.

[Figure 9] is probably [Figure 10].

Let us hope so, anyway.

AS CONCERNS INTERPRETING THE DEITY

I

This line of hieroglyphics was for fourteen years the

despair of all the scholars who labored over the mysteries of the

Rosetta stone: [Figure 1]

After five years of study Champollion translated it thus:

Therefore let the worship of Epiphanes be maintained in all

the temples, this upon pain of death.

That was the twenty-forth translation that had been

furnished by scholars. For a time it stood. But only for a

time. Then doubts began to assail it and undermine it, and the

scholars resumed their labors. Three years of patient work

produced eleven new translations; among them, this, by

Gr:unfeldt, was received with considerable favor:

The horse of Epiphanes shall be maintained at the public expense;

this upon pain of death.

But the following rendering, by Gospodin, was received by

the learned world with yet greater favor:

The priest shall explain the wisdom of Epiphanes to all these people,

and these shall listen with reverence, upon pain of death.

Seven years followed, in which twenty-one fresh and widely

varying renderings were scored–none of them quite convincing.

But now, at last, came Rawlinson, the youngest of all the

scholars, with a translation which was immediately and

universally recognized as being the correct version, and his name

became famous in a day. So famous, indeed, that even the

children were familiar with it; and such a noise did the

achievement itself make that not even the noise of the monumental

political event of that same year–the flight from Elba–was able

to smother it to silence. Rawlinson’s version reads as follows:

Therefore, walk not away from the wisdom of Epiphanes, but

turn and follow it; so shall it conduct thee to the temple’s

peace, and soften for thee the sorrows of life and the pains of

death.

Here is another difficult text: [Figure 2]

It is demotic–a style of Egyptian writing and a phase of

the language which has perished from the knowledge of all men

twenty-five hundred years before the Christian era.

Our red Indians have left many records, in the form of

pictures, upon our crags and boulders. It has taken our most

gifted and painstaking students two centuries to get at the

meanings hidden in these pictures; yet there are still two little

lines of hieroglyphics among the figures grouped upon the Dighton

Rocks which they have not succeeds in interpreting to their

satisfaction. These: [Figure 3]

The suggested solutions are practically innumerable; they

would fill a book.

Thus we have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries;

it is only when we set out to discover the secret of God that our

difficulties disappear. It was always so. In antique Roman

times it was the custom of the Deity to try to conceal His

intentions in the entrails of birds, and this was patiently and

hopefully continued century after century, although the attempted

concealment never succeeded, in a single recorded instance. The

augurs could read entrails as easily as a modern child can read

coarse print. Roman history is full of the marvels of

interpretation which these extraordinary men performed. These

strange and wonderful achievements move our awe and compel our

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