“That was the root of his problem,” Rudge said. “But we never got around to exposing it. I kept hoping I could get him to come in every week, but he kept resisting–and then he was dead.”
“Did you pursue the subject of ghosts with him in later sessions?” Hilary asked.
“Yes,” the doctor said. “The very next time he came in, he started off on it again. He said that the dead stayed dead and that only children and fools believed differently. He said there weren’t such things as ghosts and zombies.He wanted me to know that he had never believed Katherine when she’d told him that she would come back.”
“But he was lying,” Hilary said. “he did believe her.”
“Apparently, he did,” Rudge said. He put the third tape in the machine.
“Doctor, what religion are you?”
“I was raised a Catholic.”
“Do you still believe?”
“Yes.”
“Do you go to church?”
“Yes. Do you?”
“No. Do you go to mass every week?”
“Nearly every week.”
“Do you believe in heaven?”
“Yes. Do you?”
“Yeah. What about hell?”
“What do you think about it, Bruno?”
“Well, if there’s a heaven, there must be a hell.”
“Some people would argue that earth is hell.”
“No. There’s another place with fire and everything. And if there are angels…”
“Yes?”
“There must be demons. The Bible says there are.”
“You can be a good Christian without taking all of the Bible literally.”
“Do you know how to spot the various marks of the demons?”
“Marks?”
“Yeah. Like when a man or a woman makes a deal with the devil, he puts a mark on them. Or if he owns them for some other reason, he marks them, sort of like we brand cattle.”
“Do you believe you can really make a deal with the devil?”
“Huh? Oh, no. No, that’s just bunk. It’s crap. But some people do believe in it. A lot of people do. And I find them interesting. Their psychology fascinates me. I read a lot about the occult, just trying to figure out the kind of people who put a lot of faith in it. I want to understand the way their minds work. You know?”
“You were talking about the marks that demons leave on people.”
“Yeah. It’s just something I read recently. Nothing important.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, see, there are supposed to be hundreds and hundreds of demons in hell. Maybe thousands. And each one of them is supposed to have his own mark that he puts on people whose souls he claims. Like, for instance, in the middle ages, they believed that a strawberry birthmark on the face was the mark of a demon. And another one was crossed eyes. A third breast. Some people are born with a third breast. It’s really not so rare. And there are those who say it’s a mark of a demon. The number 666. That’s the mark of the chief of all demons, Satan. His people have the number 666 burned into their skin, under their hair, where it can’t be seen. I mean, that’s what the True Believers think. And twins…. That’s another sign of a demon at work.”
“Twins are the handiwork of demons?”
“You understand, I’m not saying I believe any of this. I don’t. It’s junk. I’m just telling you what some nuts out there believe.”
“I understand.”
“If I’m boring you–”
“No. I find it as fascinating as you do.”
Rudge switched off the recorder. “One comment before I let him go on. I encouraged him to talk about the occult because i thought it was just an intellectual exercise for him, a way for him to strengthen his mind to deal with his own problem. I am sorry to say that I believed him when he said he didn’t take it seriously.”
“But he did,” Hilary said. “He took it very seriously.”
“So it seems. But at the time I thought he was exercising his mind, preparing to solve his own problem. If he could find a way to explain the apparently irrational thought processes of far-out people like die-hard occultists, then he would feel ready to find an explanation for the tiny piece of irrational behavior in his own personality. If he could explain occultists, it would be an easier matter to explain the dream that he could not remember. That’s what I thought he was doing. But I was wrong. Damn! If only he’d been coming in more frequently.”