The thought of plunging a knife into another human being filled her with revulsion, but she knew that she could do it if her life was threatened. At various times during her childhood, she had hidden a knife in her bedroom, under the mattress. It had been insurance against her father’s unpredictable fits of mindless violence. She had used it only once, that last day, when Earl had begun to hallucinate from a combination of delirium tremens and just plain lunacy. He had seen giant worms coming out of the walls and huge crabs trying to get in through the windows. In a paranoid schizophrenic fury, he had transformed that small apartment into a reeking charnel house, and she had saved herself only because she’d had a knife.
Of course, a knife was inferior to a gun. She wouldn’t be able to use it against Frye until he was on top of her, and then it might be too late. But the knife was all she had. The uniformed patrolmen had taken her .32 pistol with them when they left right behind the locksmith.
Damn them to hell!
After Detectives Clemenza and Howard had gone, Hilary and Officer Farmer had had a maddening conversation about the gun laws. She became furious every time she thought of it.
“Miss Thomas, about this pistol….”
“What about it?”
“You need a permit to keep a handgun in your house.”
“I know that. I’ve got one.”
“Could I see the registration?”
“Its in the nightstand drawer. I keep it with the gun.”
“May Officer Whitlock go upstairs and get it?”
“Go ahead.”
And a minute or two later:
“Miss Thomas, I gather you once lived in San Francisco.”
“For about eight months. I did some theater work up there when I was trying to break in as an actress.”
“This registration bears a San Francisco address.”
“I was renting a North Beach apartment because it was cheap, and I didn’t have much money in those days. A woman alone in that neighborhood sure needs a gun.”
“Miss Thomas, aren’t you aware that you’re required to fill out a new registration form when you move from one county to another?”
“No.”
“You really aren’t aware of that?”
“Look, I just write movies. Guns aren’t my business.”
“If you keep a handgun in your house, you’re obliged to know the laws governing its registration and use.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll register it as soon as I can.”
“Well, you see, you’ll have to come in and register it if you want it back.”
“Get it back?”
“I’ll have to take it with me.”
“Are you kidding?”
“It’s the law, Miss Thomas.”
“You’re going to leave me alone, unarmed?”
“I don’t think you need to worry about–”
“Who put you up to this?”
“I’m only doing my job.”
“Howard put you up to it, didn’t he?”
“Detective Howard did suggest I check the registration. But he didn’t–”
“Jesus!”
“All you have to do is come in, pay the proper fee, fill out a new registration–and we’ll return your pistol.”
“What if Frye comes back here tonight?”
“It isn’t very likely, Miss Thomas.”
“But what if he does?”
“Call us. We’ve got some patrol cars in the area. We’ll get here–”
“–just in time to phone for a priest and a morgue wagon.”
“You’ve got nothing to fear but–”
“–fear itself? Tell me, Officer Farmer, do you have to take a college course in the use of the cliché before you can become a cop?”
“I’m only doing my duty, Miss Thomas.”
“Ahhh … what’s the use.”
Farmer had taken the pistol, and Hilary had learned a valuable lesson. The police department was an arm of the government, and you could not rely on the government for anything. If the government couldn’t balance its own budget and refrain from inflating its own currency, if it couldn’t find a way to deal with the rampant corruption within its own offices, if it was even beginning to lose the will and the means to maintain an army and to provide national security, then why should she expect it to stop a single maniac from cutting her down?
She had learned long ago that it was not easy to find someone in whom she could place her faith and trust. Not her parents. Not relatives, every one of whom preferred not to get involved. Not the paper-shuffling social workers to whom she had turned for help when she was a child. Not the police. In fact, she saw now that the only person anyone could trust and rely on was himself.