And now it was his turn to fall serious, and his eyes searched my face, looked into mine as if he would indeed enter into my mind and shift the thoughts there, both those I knew and what other lay beneath them. He drew a sudden deep breath-
“You are mistaken. I have been wrought in such a way that I fumble where others move easily to their goals. I am of their blood, yet within me something has gone awry so that the powers I use may sometimes be as I wish, and other times fail me. Thus, you have come to a man who is held by his fellows to be less than they.”
I smoothed the cloak about my shoulders. “It was this which drew me, thus it would seem that this time your power did not fail.”
Herrel nodded. “So have I stepped where I should not tread-“
“And this is a reason to fear disaster?” But I did not think he feared, this was no rear-line warrior, whatever else he might deem himself.
“You know not.” He did not say that sharply. “But I would have you learn at this first hour that there may not be a clear road for our riding. Twelve and one brides did we bargain for, but near twice that number are in this war band. We left it to the spell that our destiny be read, but there are those who will not accept what does not match with their desire. Also-war captive from overseas you have named yourself, and then fosterling in the Dales. But you are not of High Hallack blood, none of them have the true sights. Therefore you may be far kin to us-“
And not of humankind therefore? questioned that within me which had awakened and thirsted to grow.
“I know not who I am, Herrel, save that my memory is of being captive on a vessel of Alizon, thereafter being taken by raiders from the port. I came here of my own choice, replacing one who dreaded it-“
“Let no one else suspect that you possess the true sight. In these late years that which is not of us is mistrusted-perhaps doubly so for one who took up my cloak.” He looked down into the wine in the cup as if some picture of the future might be mirrored there. “Walk softly in the night when the enemy sleeps nearby. Do I fright you with raider talk, Gillan?”
“Not greatly. I do not think I need hold a mirror before you for my protection.”
“A mirror?”
“A mirror to kill demons. Seeing themselves their fright kills or repels them. See, I am learned in the ancient lore.”
And this tune his laugh was no matter of study and need, but came lightly.
“Perhaps I should have the mirror, my lady. But I think not, for one so fair need only look in such to learn how much she pleases.”
“Is this-“ I was warm of cheek from such a speech as had not ever been made me before, “your camp?”
“For an hour or two.” Still he smiled and I knew he read my discomfiture-which added to it. But courteously he spoke now of other things.
“If you look for a snug keep to sit between you and the air, or the walls of a great hall, then you will search in vain, my lady-for the while. We have now no home save the waste-“
“But you go from here-that was part of the Bargain! Where then do we ride?”
“North-yet farther north-and east.” His hand was on his belt, fingers upon the milky gems of its buckle. “We are exiles, now we are minded to turn homeward once again.”
“Exiles? From what land? Overseas?” It might be true then that we were distantly of one blood.
“No. Afar perhaps in space and time, but not sundered from this land. We come from a very old people, and those of High Hallack from a new. Once we had no boundaries on our far-faring. All men and women held a sway over powers which could build, or serve according to their wishes. If one wished to savour the freedom of a horse running before the wind, then one could be that horse. Or a hawk or eagle in the heavens. If one wished raiment soft and silken for one’s wearing, jewels for the bedecking, under will they were his, to vanish when he tired of such. Only, to have such power and use it ever brings with it a great weariness, so that in time there is naught left to wish for, no new delight for one’s eyes and heart and mind.
“This then is a time of danger, when those who grow restless turn from the known to the unknown. Then may doors be opened on forbidden things and that loosed which can not be controlled. We grew older, and more weary of mind. And some of the restless and yet curious tried other ways of amusement. Indeed did they loose what they could not rule, and death, and worse then clean death, stalked the land. Men who have been brethren now looked upon their fellows with suspicion, or hate. There was killing, sword-blooding and with it another kind of killing which was worse.
“Until, after one great battle there was set upon us all a bond. Those who were born among us from that time forward with a restless spirit, they must issue out of the land to which our kin withdrew and became wanderers. Not by choice-though some did choose so-but because they were deemed to be disturbing to a peace which must be kept or our breed would perish. And they must wander for a set number of years, until the stars moved into new patterns. When that was accomplished, then once more they might seek out the gate and ask for admittance. And if they could pass the testing there-then they would know again the homeland of their kind.”
“But the men of High Hallack say that always since they have pushed into this country have they known the Riders-“
“The years of man and our years are not one and the same. But now the day comes when we may essay the gate. And whether we win or fail, we shall not let our breed die. Thus we take brides from among men, that there will be those after us.”
“Half blood is not always as great as full blood.”
“True. But, my lady, you forget that we do have powers and arts. Not all the changes we can make are to confuse the eye only.”
“But will their eyes continue to be confused?” I glanced about me. Those who had preceded me were rapt, ensorcelled, so that they looked only upon those with whom they shared cup and plate. Whether this was for good or ill, I could not tell.
“For now,” he said, “they see what they are designed to see, according to the desires of those whose cloaks the wear.”
“And I?”
“And you? Perhaps, if more than one will was bent to the task, you might see at another’s bidding-‘but that I do not know. I only say, with all my cunning as a warrior, it is best that you pretend to see. There are those within this company who would not welcome a will they believed they could not dominate. Fortunately, my lady-“
His change of tone and word were so abrupt that I was startled and then alerted. Someone approached us from behind. But taking my cue from those about me, I showed no sign of knowing this, and I looked only to Herrel as if he alone meant anything in a narrow world.
He who had come up behind me stood silently, but from his very presence there flowed a vast, disquieting cloud of-hate? No, this emotion was too contemptuous, too self confident for hate. That we save for those who are our equals or superiors. This was the kind of anger one directs at lesser things which have crossed a will which believes it should have no limits. And how I knew this I could not have said, save that within this enchanted place perhaps emotions were made keener by design, and mine, not having been snared in the set trap, thus scented out the stranger’s.
“Ah, Halse, come to drink bride cup?” Herrel looked up to the one who stood behind me. There was no unease open in him. But once in Norstead village at a feasting I had watched a wrestling match. And it was said that those who pitted their strength against one another so bore ill will, so the battle was not in sport or play. Then I had witnessed that small narrowing of the eyes, that stiffness of shoulder for the instant before they sprang at one another. And so was I sure that this Halse was no good friend to Herrel, but one of those whom he expected might show anger that his cloak-spell had succeeded. But still I schooled myself to watch only Herrel, with the bemusement of the other girls.