All that I wanted to say was imprisoned in my throat. Only could I utter his name. His hands were on me; he was demanding in a rush of speech answers-yet I could not hear nor speak. Only my need was so great it was an unvoiced screaming in my head.
There was shouting. Men burst in upon us, fell upon Herrel and dragged him away despite his struggles. Again I looked at Halse. His mouth was ugly with hate, his eyes fire-fire burning me. Once more he held between us that which drove me away-back to the woods and the rain-and the knowledge that I was again in exile.
“Herrel!” I whispered slowly, softly. Somehow I had nursed in me-to learn now it was truth-the thought-the hope-that Herrel had not been one with those who had left me alone in the wilderness. Could he, too, have been deceived by that part of Gillan now riding with the company? Halse had brought that Gillan flowers, as if in wooing. Had that Gillan been turned by their sorcery to favour Halse? How-how far could she have turned?
The chill which was never gone from me was an icy sword in my breast. Halse had the power to exile me from that other Gillan, he used it at once when he knew that we were one-to drive me forth again. Halse-or someone-but I thought it Halse-had striven to part me from Herrel by showing me him as his shape change made him. And then he had turned on me readily when the Riders had discovered that I had some power of my own. This being so-why would he now woo me? Fragments of what Herrel had told me made a pattern of sorts.
Herrel had named himself the least of the Riders, one who lacked the fullness of the talents the others shared, and thus was not reckoned of much account in their company. Because of custom he had set his cloak enchantment that it would draw no bride. But it had me-why?
For the first time I thought back to that moment when I had stood at the edge of the wedding dell, looking upon those cloaks, seeing them with the double vision. Why had I taken up Herrel’s? I had not been caught by any enchantment through its beauty. But I had gone to it, passing other cloaks spread there-taken it up in my hands with the same single minded action as displayed by all the other maids of High Hallack.
Thus-Herrel had succeeded where they wished him failure. And I did not know to this moment why I had chosen his cloak-and so him. But Halse had been passed by, came forth from that bridal morn riding alone, and that had bitten into him. It would seem that he alone of those unmated had deemed Herrel fair game, planning to take what was his. Perhaps any more save towards Herrel would have brought retaliation from the pack, and Halse’s determination was greater than the rest.
If-when they had rift that other Gillan from me-Halse had fastened on that other self, dividing her from Herrel-How much life did that other Gillan have? There were old tales in the Dales-good telling for the winter nights, when a small shiver up the back added to one’s feelings of comfort, the hearth fire blazing before, snug company around. I had heard snatches of stories concerning “fetches”-the simulacrum of the living appearing to those away, generally foretelling death. Did a fetch now ride at Halse’s side?
No, that Gillan had more substance, or else the appearance of it. Appearance-hallucination-did Halse actually create-with aid-a bride for himself, or merely the appearance of one to assuage his esteem and deceive those who might be led to question my disappearance-say-Kildas? Or had that other Gillan been used to punish Herrel in some manner, he not knowing her real nature? If so, that short meeting in the tent must have awakened him to the true facts. I did not doubt that Herrel had been made aware in those short moments before the others had come upon us, that there was a difference in Gillans.
Now, with that same urge which I had summoned to topple the pillar, I tried to reach that other Gillan-to be reunited. The cord between us still held, but draw along it to her in this fashion I could not Warned, they must have set up a barrier to that.
The rain had stopped. But there was no lightening of the clouds, and around me the woods were very quiet, save for the drip of water from the branches. But with the coming of night, there were breaks in the silence which had held by day. I heard a cry which might have been the scream of some winged hunter, and farther away, faintly, a baying-
In my belt was the knife I had brought from the Hound camp. Save for that I was weaponless. And even in the Dales there were four footed hunters not to be faced unshielded and alone. For me fear suddenly peopled this wood, this country, with a multitude of moving shadows, owing no allegiance to any stable thing. Almost I might have been plunged back into the nightmare wood of my dreams.
Move on, run-down the road-in the open-cried one part of my mind. Stay hid in the dark, under the rug I was but one more shadow-Stay-go-they buffeted me. Back to the oval of the Guardians-the mere thought of walls was steadying. But that which held me to the forward trail would not allow retreat. And if I broke that tie-and could not find it again-I would have no guide-
Stay-Go-
Weariness made my eyelids heavy, pushed my head down upon my knees. That argument which had no end was lost in sleep.
The scent reached me first, for I came to my senses gasping, choking at the foulness of a fog which came in gathering intensity from the road. The stench was throat-clogging, lung-searing-
This was not the mist which still cloaked the distances from my eyes, but a yellowish cloud of corruption which held a faint phosphorescence in its swirls. I retched, coughed. Nothing so foul had ever polluted any world I knew.
Under my body was the ground, and through that came a vibration. Something moved out there, along that road, with force enough to send those waves through the earth. The time for retreat was gone. I could only hope that stillness, the robe shadow-something-would keep me from discovery. I put my palm flat on the wet and muddy ground, since I dared not so bend my head, hoping that thus I might better read the vibrations. And it seemed to me that it was not the ponderous slow step such as one might assign to some great bulk, but rather a rapid beat as from a company running-
The muddy fog was thick. If it hid the road from me, then certainly it should in turn hide me from what passed that way! But that was only a small hope, such as we are wont to cling to in times of great peril.
That this was such a time, I doubted not. I shrank inside and out from the fog and what it held-so alien to my flesh and spirit that to come even this close to it was befoulment beyond the finding of words.
Now the passage of what the fog hid was not only vibration through the ground to my touch; it was sound for my ears. The beat of steps, and of more than one pair of feet-but whether of beast or things two footed and running in company I could not tell.
The phosphorescent quality of that evil cloud grew stronger, its yellow taking on a sickly, red tinge, as of watered blood. And with that a low droning noise, which one’s ears strained to break down into the tones of many voices chanting together, but which ever eluded that struggle for clarity. It was coming up the road, not down from the place of the Guardians.
I bit hard upon my knuckles, scoring them with my teeth until I tasted blood, so keeping from the outcry my panic held ready in my throat to voice. Was it better to see-or far, far better to be blinded against this runner, or runners in the night? Flecks of darker red in the fog. And the drone so loud it filled my head, shook my body. I think my very terror worked on my behalf to save me that night, for it held me in a mindless, motionless state very close to the end of life itself. Fear can kill, and I had never met such fear as this before. For this did not lurk in any dream, but in the world I had always believed to be sane and understandable.
Blood on my hands and in my mouth, and that stench about me so that I would never feel clean again unless I could flee it. But I no longer saw those red flecks, and the drone was easing-it was past me.